Funny shit in the bedroom

Cam01

Cam01

New member
Well, long story short, I got laid this past Sat.

Anyway, the funny thing was: As we were going at it, I was ready to cum.

So, I told her "turn around, I'm going to cum in your mouth" She: "Umm, ummm, umm" Me "hurry, hurry" Her "okay" So, i came in her mouth...

The funny thing was, when we left my crib and were driving to get some food, she was trying to figure out why my cum had a weird taste.. And then, it hit her... She was like "I know, I know, Your cum taste like those monster drinks!" And I was just cracking up!! She said it had the same taste as the monster drinks.. She said it did not taste that bad. She said I came more than she could handle (which was weird seeing as I had an issue due to a caterer).


BTW, I'm curious as to why some/most girls just don't kno how to suck the pickle?!
Let us guys scratch their clit with out teeth, see how fast they tell us to stop..!
 
didnt really strike a laugh or anything, now if you had something like with what i did now 2 weeks ago. i was getting head from my one girl, and i had to fart like no other. i couldnt hold it in anymore, and i thought it would be funny. so i dropped ass, almost at the blowing point. she just automatically stops. slowly comes off, looks at me, an says... "you cant be serious" an punches me in the dick, an walks away... got blue balled in 2 forms...

now if you had something like that. i would applaud you
 
TonySuicideKing said:
didnt really strike a laugh or anything, now if you had something like with what i did now 2 weeks ago. i was getting head from my one girl, and i had to fart like no other. i couldnt hold it in anymore, and i thought it would be funny. so i dropped ass, almost at the blowing point. she just automatically stops. slowly comes off, looks at me, an says... "you cant be serious" an punches me in the dick, an walks away... got blue balled in 2 forms...

now if you had something like that. i would applaud you
Click to expand...

That's the fuckin best story i've heard. Congrats
 
TonySuicideKing said:
didnt really strike a laugh or anything, now if you had something like with what i did now 2 weeks ago. i was getting head from my one girl, and i had to fart like no other. i couldnt hold it in anymore, and i thought it would be funny. so i dropped ass, almost at the blowing point. she just automatically stops. slowly comes off, looks at me, an says... "you cant be serious" an punches me in the dick, an walks away... got blue balled in 2 forms...

now if you had something like that. i would applaud you
Click to expand...

damn, you really screwed yourself on that one but damn it's funny
 
hahaha i always look for a way to strike humor, atleast once a day, every single day... and at that point in time... i couldnt pass up the opportunity. hahaha
 
Haha.
A while back I was getting a blowjob...
And the brawd told me not to nut in her face and to let her know before I came...I told her alright,
But I shot a fat one in her face to her surpise...lol
 
LMFAO either way... after sometime this makes me crack up. check up to my standards people!!!!! unless it makes others laugh it isnt worth it!!!! lol. your pain is others laughter!!! why you think i post my shit hahahaha dont worry more stories are up to come
 
TonySuicideKing said:
didnt really strike a laugh or anything, now if you had something like with what i did now 2 weeks ago. i was getting head from my one girl, and i had to fart like no other. i couldnt hold it in anymore, and i thought it would be funny. so i dropped ass, almost at the blowing point. she just automatically stops. slowly comes off, looks at me, an says... "you cant be serious" an punches me in the dick, an walks away... got blue balled in 2 forms...

now if you had something like that. i would applaud you
Click to expand...

LOL. Best story evah. When i read the OP I thought damn what waste and then bam I found this little gold nugget. Hi f'in larious.
 
Mr. Humdiddly said:
LOL. Best story evah. When i read the OP I thought damn what waste and then bam I found this little gold nugget. Hi f'in larious.
Click to expand...

HAHAHA couldnt help it man. idc if i get blue balls once in a while. i live life by humor. if you cant laugh at it.... let alone make others laugh at the stupid shit you do... whats the point in life? LOL gotta have humor in your life. makes things better
 
TonySuicideKing said:
didnt really strike a laugh or anything, now if you had something like with what i did now 2 weeks ago. i was getting head from my one girl, and i had to fart like no other. i couldnt hold it in anymore, and i thought it would be funny. so i dropped ass, almost at the blowing point. she just automatically stops. slowly comes off, looks at me, an says... "you cant be serious" an punches me in the dick, an walks away... got blue balled in 2 forms...

now if you had something like that. i would applaud you
Click to expand...



I had a semi similar situation.. Well not really, but both of our stories involve bodily harm lol. This bitch im fucking right now says she likes to suck dick but WONT let me cum in her mouth. im thinking to myself, fuck that shit. The other day shes sucking my dick for a few minutes. Im in the zone and she has the nerve to stop and tell me remember to tell me when im your about to cum so she can take it out of her mouth and jerk me off to cum.. Well I said yeah sure keep going... Came right in that bitches mouth and held her head on my dick while i was cumming. Fucking stupid cunt whore loogied the cum at me getting it all over my chest and then punched me in the fucking face. Didnt mean too, but instinct told me to fight back so i fucking pushed that bitch and she flew off the bed and sprained her ankle lol. Were all good now, but it was a fucked up night.
 
numba1scrapper said:
I had a semi similar situation.. Well not really, but both of our stories involve bodily harm lol. This bitch im fucking right now says she likes to suck dick but WONT let me cum in her mouth. im thinking to myself, fuck that shit. The other day shes sucking my dick for a few minutes. Im in the zone and she has the nerve to stop and tell me remember to tell me when im your about to cum so she can take it out of her mouth and jerk me off to cum.. Well I said yeah sure keep going... Came right in that bitches mouth and held her head on my dick while i was cumming. Fucking stupid cunt whore loogied the cum at me getting it all over my chest and then punched me in the fucking face. Didnt mean too, but instinct told me to fight back so i fucking pushed that bitch and she flew off the bed and sprained her ankle lol. Were all good now, but it was a fucked up night.
Click to expand...

hahahahaha! fuck that. thats why i have my tattoo on my stomach it clearly states... if your going to go down there... your going to swallow!
 
must be something in the water in my home town every chick there sucks dick like its the last meal they will ever have.

quick story.

getting skulled and she tells me to blow it in her mouth.
ok cool.
so i let it fly and fuck me i thought i killed her. she was gagging and gasping for air. yells at me what the fuck did you eat?
dunno why. that burned like fucking hot sauce. i'm on fire i need a drink quick.

well i like to eat really hot indian food and i would guess that did it
hell i had tears i was laughing so hard.
 
lol ok another one, my now ex fiancé, was giving me dome while we were watching a movie. she was getting into it like no other... i think it was because Megan Fox was in the movie... MAYBE, who knows. well i didnt tell her the night before i was drinking heavily, mixing everything an anything together. and i guess that is a big no no for when the girl is going to swallow. so i blew it in her mouth and as shes swallowing. she stops and immediately vomits all over my dick area. I couldnt help but laugh but also yell WHAT THE FUCK. she gets up screaming, "well what in the fuck do you expect, your shit tasted like some rancid ass chunky milk mixed with booze!" i still laugh from it. cause i didnt clean it up!
 
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