Girl wants to be a sex friend...

Smilee21 said:
Ok... I am having a big problem with a few of my guy friends that I have known since I was a little girl. All of the sudden they are trying to come back into my life, that is fine and dandy, they were really good friends of mine. (I am a Tomboy, always have been).

The problem is they have always been attracted to me and have always let it be known that they wanted to be more than friends. I do not want to cross the line with them and take it passed Friendship.

One of my friends keeps asking me to go to these Swingers clubs with him, I keep saying the same thing, I am not about to have sex with random strangers. I am just not that way.

He keeps wanting to take it somewhere I don't want to go. I do not want to be a B****; but it is starting to really upset me that he is not respecting the fact I only want to be friends with him and nothing more.

I am going to end up walking away from this friendship due to the fact that He wants to be my F*** Buddy. I even told him I am celibate... lol that didn't work. He still thinks that he will get into my pants.

Ugh... I don't know what to do anymore. I don't want just Sex, if I cannot be with in a real relationship with someone. I don't want anything...from them at all. I don't want to F*** my friends.


I contacted him and told him I only want to be friends with you. So please stop with all the Sex Things. He replied with K.

I really hope he does. :/
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This to me comes down to respect. I always respect a girls wishes when it comes down to it.

If he cant respect you, THAT shows what he really thinks of the friendship. And from a guys perspective it may be that the only reason he is even staying friends is for the chance to get in your pants. Which is not a friend at all.
 
As a woman, I can say I have had this with one guy. As a matter of fact he still tries to continue it, (just texted me a few seconds ago), for some reason I am not attached emotionally in any way. I don't hang out with him anymore for obvious reasons. But if my bf and I break up and I need me some... Ill be calling him up. It is plausible, but only if you are both COMPLETELY in agreement that it is JUST sex, nothing else. I would never introduce my bf and this guy EVER, out of respect for my bf, so our friendship has kinda taken the way side. Unfortunately, this would prob happen with your relationship as well since your relationship will now be sex driven instead of just hanging out driven. Once you have a gf, the sex is going to be redirected to her, leaving this chic in the dust. Just saying. So choose wisely. I guess it really depends on how much you value her friendship.
 
Zero V said:
This to me comes down to respect. I always respect a girls wishes when it comes down to it.

If he cant respect you, THAT shows what he really thinks of the friendship. And from a guys perspective it may be that the only reason he is even staying friends is for the chance to get in your pants. Which is not a friend at all.
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I don't think you can say it any better than this. Sure we all love a good romp in the hay but the reality is that women who "give it up easy" usually have issues stemming back to their childhood and that usually means that they don't respect themselves due to those unresolved issues. You don't have to agree with me but having been a therapist for many years, I know what I'm talking about here.
 
stevenmd said:
I don't think you can say it any better than this. Sure we all love a good romp in the hay but the reality is that women who "give it up easy" usually have issues stemming back to their childhood and that usually means that they don't respect themselves due to those unresolved issues. You don't have to agree with me but having been a therapist for many years, I know what I'm talking about here.
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I don't have to be a therapist to agree with you on that...

My friends have entire psychological profiles they use for girls when they go out. Quite honestly between mannerisms, habits, qwerks, dress, and speech you can pull alot of history up on a girl just by using profiles. It helps them pick the easiest catch, or judge what to use to get a harder one...

FYI, I never do this. Never done a 1 night stand, don't think I can. I would feel degraded myself lol. I at least want to know who I am with.
 
This is one thing that I will never understand. Growing up around boys all my life, at times I act like one of the boys, I am very open and say what's on my mind. But sometimes bc I am still a female and they are males they always take what I say or how I say it out of context. It makes it hard to be myself around them.

And yes I agree... It makes me feel as though their true intentions of being my friend is bc they think I will give it up to them. They try To say we have known eachother forever, you like girls, I like girls, let's play.

Me and my sexual perferences have nothing to do with my friendships with these guys. What I choose to do behind closed doors and with whom is my business. I am not one of those girls who is only into girls bc it gets guys attentions. I have been attracted to both sexes since I was 5-6 yrs old.

It's very upsetting when I open up to the ones I thought were my friends and this is how they react. I don't know what's worse being shunned or being freaking harassed or pushed into having sexual relations with them.

After all is said and done, i am choosing to walk away from this friendship bc no matter what I say and how I say it. I have a feeling he will continue to try to convince me to sleep with him. And I am not ok with it.
 
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Zero V said:
I don't have to be a therapist to agree with you on that...

My friends have entire psychological profiles they use for girls when they go out. Quite honestly between mannerisms, habits, qwerks, dress, and speech you can pull alot of history up on a girl just by using profiles. It helps them pick the easiest catch, or judge what to use to get a harder one...

FYI, I never do this. Never done a 1 night stand, don't think I can. I would feel degraded myself lol. I at least want to know who I am with.
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I had 1 one night stand once and I did feel very degraded. Not something I ever did again. Something about an emotional connection appeals more to me. Guess I'm kind of old fashioned that way.

But I'm NEVER EVER going to do another cycle again unless I have a girlfriend. All this test flowing through my body right now is driving me nuts... even my ex-wife is starting to look good to me!:insane2:
 
stevenmd said:
I had 1 one night stand once and I did feel very degraded. Not something I ever did again. Something about an emotional connection appeals more to me. Guess I'm kind of old fashioned that way.

But I'm NEVER EVER going to do another cycle again unless I have a girlfriend. All this test flowing through my body right now is driving me nuts... even my ex-wife is starting to look good to me!:insane2:
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I cannot do one night stands either... I don't like feeling dirty, I wouldn't be able to face myself in the mirror.

Oh no... :/... It's that intense huh?
 
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Do cycles have the same effect on us females?

What if you are already a very sexual person, will it make things that much harder to behave?
 
Smilee21 said:
Awe sucks for me... I Guess I won't be getting a bday hug?

I couldn't even imagine what you are going through.
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I originally took a religious path and it has been about 4 years since my last encounter with my ex. Just this year for 2012 have I decided enough is enough lol.

I could not imagine a cycle...I would probably die.

When a guy has pent up "desire" its far more painful than alot of women think lol.
 
Zero V said:
I originally took a religious path and it has been about 4 years since my last encounter with my ex. Just this year for 2012 have I decided enough is enough lol.

I could not imagine a cycle...I would probably die.

When a guy has pent up "desire" its far more painful than alot of women think lol.
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LOL... I myself chose to do things differently in my life and also hadn't had an encounter for almost a year. At first it was extremely difficult I am a very sexual being and my Ex and I continued to see eachother off and on until July 2010. I Chose to stay away from sexual relations BC I wanted to find the person I seem to have hidden deep within me.

I had to make sure I stayed away from Alcohol BC under the influence I could no longer control myself.

It would be very hard to understand how difficult it would be for a man. I know it has been a difficult journey for me. Sticking to the Vow I kept with myself...
 
Smilee21 said:
LOL... I myself chose to do things differently in my life and also hadn't had an encounter for almost a year. At first it was extremely difficult I am a very sexual being and my Ex and I continued to see eachother off and on until July 2010. I Chose to stay away from sexual relations BC I wanted to find the person I seem to have hidden deep within me.

I had to make sure I stayed away from Alcohol BC under the influence I could no longer control myself.

It would be very hard to understand how difficult it would be for a man. I know it has been a difficult journey for me. Sticking to the Vow I kept with myself...
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Drinking never effects my sexual drive. I turned down a girl that my buddies still cant believe I did when I was far gone on enough Jose to kill a Mexican. No matter how much I drank, it only makes me feel like I am sitting inside my head. I am still fully aware and have all my morals/ideas/drive.

Being single and holding off on things since I last got any has proven very profitable for me. I actually function 100% independent, know who I am in life, and had time to iron out the road I want and make all my mistakes solo without piling up alot of bad relationships/baggage.

I have no issues getting girls, but now I am finding issues getting the "Right" girls. Mommy material lol.
 
Smilee21 said:
Awe sucks for me... I Guess I won't be getting a bday hug?

I couldn't even imagine what you are going through.
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Of course you'll get a bday hug Chica! I don't hold out on stuff like that. I just may be really embarrassed afterwards flying a pole...

Zero V said:
I originally took a religious path and it has been about 4 years since my last encounter with my ex. Just this year for 2012 have I decided enough is enough lol.

I could not imagine a cycle...I would probably die.

When a guy has pent up "desire" its far more painful than alot of women think lol.
Click to expand...

I had a good long talk with my ex today and we finally closed that chapter in our lives. I think we are finally ready to file for divorce and agree on the details. I think we had to work out the boundaries of our friendship because we have kids together so we will always be in each others lives. I did ask if I could date one of her friends but that didn't go over so well. I was only kidding but she didn't see the humor in it.

And yeah, this cycle sucks! My hand is hella sore from "taking care of business"...:D Plus, I think I'm going blind...
 
Zero V said:
Drinking never effects my sexual drive. I turned down a girl that my buddies still cant believe I did when I was far gone on enough Jose to kill a Mexican. No matter how much I drank, it only makes me feel like I am sitting inside my head. I am still fully aware and have all my morals/ideas/drive.

Being single and holding off on things since I last got any has proven very profitable for me. I actually function 100% independent, know who I am in life, and had time to iron out the road I want and make all my mistakes solo without piling up alot of bad relationships/baggage.

I have no issues getting girls, but now I am finding issues getting the "Right" girls. Mommy material lol.
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I understand... me too. I am a very independent person and am very motherly. One problem I had was that I seemed to be attracted to individuals who needed me to take care of them. Needy individuals who were very dependent on others to survive.

Being single for as long as I have, I now know what I want in a partner and what I don't want. I'm am looking for that person who is my BEST FRIEND... that I want to grow old with and experience life with. There are a few individuals I have met that I could definitely see myself with in the Future, I just don't know if they will be just my friends or if it will ever be more.

When the time is right... the answers will be revealed, for now I will keep away from the "wrong men" lol
 
stevenmd said:
Of course you'll get a bday hug Chica! I don't hold out on stuff like that. I just may be really embarrassed afterwards flying a pole...



I had a good long talk with my ex today and we finally closed that chapter in our lives. I think we are finally ready to file for divorce and agree on the details. I think we had to work out the boundaries of our friendship because we have kids together so we will always be in each others lives. I did ask if I could date one of her friends but that didn't go over so well. I was only kidding but she didn't see the humor in it.

And yeah, this cycle sucks! My hand is hella sore from "taking care of business"...:D Plus, I think I'm going blind...
Click to expand...

I will be looking forward to my Bday hug... I will make sure it isn't too long of an embrace. LOL...

That's good that you and your ex discussed things and are on the same page.

You don't have much longer on this cycle, right (like 4 more weeks). Maybe you should get a little toy to place over your member to help TCB I think they are called a Pocket pussy...LOL. Sorry it might help relieve some of the soreness in the hands. Can ppl really go blind from TCB too much? I haven't gone blind yet;)
 
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