having issues with my wife
- Thread starter Illtemper
- Start date
LANDSCAPE1
New member
How bout you slide it in her, and tell her to shut her mouth. .
Some women need that
Some women need that
MoparMuscle
Amateur Bodybuilder
Lol at that site and that "theory" total bunk IMO, people will assign their "psycholochical" issues to just about anything.
denizen
New member
Great post bro!
Illtemper
New member
ya know for me part of the problem is my wife could probably go for a month without sex and not give a fuck,(no pun) her sex drive and desire is very low.. Now its been an issue for years now. Dont get me wrong she gives it up but its so fucking annoying that i always have to be the one to start it up...
This weekend we got rid of the kids for the night to hang with some friends and then some "fun time" later. We go out have a good time and passed little hints to each other and i was "UP" for it when we got home.
So we get home and we were talking as i was taking her clothes off, something made me ask how horny she was, and from the dryness i could tell.. She said she wasnt even thinking of it all.... So from that, it was a total bummer for me and i just stopped cause i was disappointed, and thats when the argument started... This is how she is most of the time and its taking its toll on me now.. Now like i said we have been together for 16yrs now and even about 5yrs ago things were so much better. Honestly it seems after my son was born her drive took a shit and now like i said she could deal without sex probably for a month or longer.. Ive tried holding out as long as i can but when it gets past the 2week mark im like a lunatic. I get moody and PISSED at everything and i have to break in..
Now ive had talks with her about it and thats why i got her libido pills and asked her to talk to her doctor but to her she is fine and its all my problem that im a horn ball.. I dont wanna sound like a bitch but this is getting hard to deal with thats why im asking for something to really BOOST her libido to atleast what it was before kids..... I dont wanna leave her or cheat on her im not the type but i always told myself if another girl actually paid me more attention i think we would really have problems......
Now she is good enough to give it up and im happy about that but i just cant understand why she isnt into it as much as she used to be.. I know im not as ripped as i used to be or even as big as i used to be but im trying.. for my wife she hates working out and would rather watch the bachelor and those other stupid reality shows then do anything.... I guess we just got issues but for me her lack of wanting sex is what really bothers me.......
This weekend we got rid of the kids for the night to hang with some friends and then some "fun time" later. We go out have a good time and passed little hints to each other and i was "UP" for it when we got home.
So we get home and we were talking as i was taking her clothes off, something made me ask how horny she was, and from the dryness i could tell.. She said she wasnt even thinking of it all.... So from that, it was a total bummer for me and i just stopped cause i was disappointed, and thats when the argument started... This is how she is most of the time and its taking its toll on me now.. Now like i said we have been together for 16yrs now and even about 5yrs ago things were so much better. Honestly it seems after my son was born her drive took a shit and now like i said she could deal without sex probably for a month or longer.. Ive tried holding out as long as i can but when it gets past the 2week mark im like a lunatic. I get moody and PISSED at everything and i have to break in..
Now ive had talks with her about it and thats why i got her libido pills and asked her to talk to her doctor but to her she is fine and its all my problem that im a horn ball.. I dont wanna sound like a bitch but this is getting hard to deal with thats why im asking for something to really BOOST her libido to atleast what it was before kids..... I dont wanna leave her or cheat on her im not the type but i always told myself if another girl actually paid me more attention i think we would really have problems......
Now she is good enough to give it up and im happy about that but i just cant understand why she isnt into it as much as she used to be.. I know im not as ripped as i used to be or even as big as i used to be but im trying.. for my wife she hates working out and would rather watch the bachelor and those other stupid reality shows then do anything.... I guess we just got issues but for me her lack of wanting sex is what really bothers me.......
Dude,
Sounds like you are in a very difficult spot and I feel for you. Seriously, I would give Cialis a shot. If you are looking for help in the form of a pill, this is worth a try.
Sounds like she could use testosterone replacement therapy (TRT) also.. But, it doesn't sound like she thinks she needs it? Maybe you could get her to read a Suzanne Summers book.. She is a big advocate for HRT.. You sound like a reasonable guy w/ a wife who is unknowingly killing your self esteem, or maybe she knows and doesn't care..
I don't know buddy? I'm only 34 and only married for 6 years, I hope I never find myself in this situation because I don't think I would stay? That's a tough one! Best of luck
I don't know buddy? I'm only 34 and only married for 6 years, I hope I never find myself in this situation because I don't think I would stay? That's a tough one! Best of luck
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Illtemper
New member
I will suggest the suzanne summers book and see how that goes... Now her killing my self esteem is hitting the nail on the head. Her not caring, i know she does. We just had a discussion about all of this since things havent really been good since sat night.. Now we'll see how it goes. I layed it all on the table which i done before but when i said i already looked into getting an apartment that kind of shut her up, hopefully she realized im not just fucking around. She seemed to actually listen to what i was saying this time. Before i think it would just roll off her back cause nothing would actually change, it would be cool for a week and then back to normal.... I really dont wanna seperate but i suggested maybe we should just seperate for a bit and see how things work out. She started crying and said she didnt want that so hopefully this will actually be what works to help and all i asked her was was to look into why she has no desire for sex and to not act like im just a horn ball.. I think something is wrong or an underlying issue she needs to address i know we have been together for along time but i still cant keep my hands off of her, i asked her if she was simply tired of me or what. She just cried and said no, so im hoping she's telling me the truth on that..
Now we are in our early 30's as well but we have been together with small breaks here and there since our high school years...
And just to clear the air, its not like im trying to get it on 3-4X's a day im just going for 3-4X's a week or atleast once a week with her wanting it again!!
How do i get cialis? I would have her try it or ask if she would try it anyways.. I just think something isnt firing right in her hormone department and thats where the issue lays that need to be addressed..
Now she did see an endo for a thryoid issue months back and i told her to ask the endo about her libido which i just found out now that she actually did ask, but she said the endo didnt respond to the question so she just left it alone and since the endo said all her blood was in normal range.. WE ALL KNOW HOW THAT WORKS WITH ENDOS...
Thanks for all the help here guys! I do appericate the advise and help for this...
slair
New member
re
I understand where alot of you guys are coming from on this, but i think the simple fact that has been stated is that women just do not have the sex drive that men do. I'm no expert on this, but I think that if you explain yourself, actually talk to her about what it's doing to you, like another person said, this could help greatly.
In the end though, let's face it, alot of women have to be stimulated to even want it. They aren't just "ready to go" on the spot ussually. You may want to work on your approach to help get her in the mood. Foreplay is really important for woman. You might need to try new things, ask what she likes/doesn't like. But just expecting her to fuck you on the spot, without doing anything else......well, of course she's not gonna be in the mood.
However if all else fails and shes still as dry as a desert...just get some ky!
I understand where alot of you guys are coming from on this, but i think the simple fact that has been stated is that women just do not have the sex drive that men do. I'm no expert on this, but I think that if you explain yourself, actually talk to her about what it's doing to you, like another person said, this could help greatly.
In the end though, let's face it, alot of women have to be stimulated to even want it. They aren't just "ready to go" on the spot ussually. You may want to work on your approach to help get her in the mood. Foreplay is really important for woman. You might need to try new things, ask what she likes/doesn't like. But just expecting her to fuck you on the spot, without doing anything else......well, of course she's not gonna be in the mood.
However if all else fails and shes still as dry as a desert...just get some ky!
Gents, I believe that many people, including perhaps some of you have experienced these troubling problems with your wife or loved one. I should clarify that my own frustration over infrequent sex started way before I began Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT). I am 42 and my wife is 40. I started Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) last year. My problems over sex began at least 5-6 years ago, and they were definitely not due to a lack of libido on my part. The problems essentially became amplified and unbearable a few months after I started the treatment. As a result of Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) I experienced a renewed sense of invigoration like many of you (basically I had a rock-hard dick all the time, like when I was a teenager), so naturally I started to dwell much more on the problem that I had been having with my wife all along. I think I finally I realized how fucked up my sex life had become and I decided I would not accept that any longer. I really should have made that decision before starting Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT), but it is what it is. As I mentioned earlier, I had been complaining to her on and off for several years about this problem. Some time after starting Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) I finally blew up and disgorged all the resentment and anger that had been building up inside me.
I was fully aware of what was going on with me in terms of the therapy - I did realize that I would be much more demanding in bed after starting Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) - and I was careful not to stress my wife with extraordinary sexual demands, but I guess it had to happen.....I flipped out and told her everything.
She was stunned.
You see, like many other normal women her age my wife just did not regard sex as important as I did. Her sex drive definitely took a nose dive after she turned 35, but that in itself is not the big problem. The big problem is that she forgot or chose to ignore a very basic fact: I don't need to talk, be romanced, be listened to, etc. As long as I get steady sex then that is enough to make me feel secure and happy. I know myself well - I need attention through physical contact, touch, SEX. This is how I feel loved. I do not give a shit about so many other things that I know my wife finds interesting, and even arousing. Holding hands while watching the movie Sleepless in Seattle is much more pleasant for her than for me, know what I mean? By the way, I will put up with all sorts of boring conversations, or listening to stupid stories about her friends, or the idiots at her job, etc., as long as I can also get attention in my own way - HOT SEX. I believe most men are just like me.
We listen to her because this is what she wants us to do, and since we love her we do everything we can to make her happy. On the other hand we expect for her to show us love in a way that we truly appreciate. This is an emotional need for us, just as much as it is a physical need. It is not something naughty, dirty, or somehow perverted. We need it to feel secure and happy. Anyone that is having problems with his wife needs to make her understand this shit very well. If you have to fight for this to sink in to her head then fight. Being persistent and fighting about this is better than ending up feeling miserable, feeling distant, banging some slut, or worse - having a secret love affair - all that will just destroy your marriage, and if you have kids that is fucking terrible. Tell her very clearly, and beware - it may take multiple sessions. If you really have to then suggest for you and her to go see a shrink or counselor together. I know that shit sucks, but if you tell her tat she will realize how important this is. Believe me - this is a far better approach than to suggest to your wife that she has a physical problem. Definitely do not suggest for her to take Cialis - that would just piss her off. Think about how you would feel if your wife asked you to take Viagra. If you tell her that something is wrong with her she will just reject you. Just tell her what the situation is doing to you. Be honest. Also, be sure you can commit to doing certain things you might be lacking in - maybe your are not spending enough time to try to romance her. She needs that, you know.
I was fully aware of what was going on with me in terms of the therapy - I did realize that I would be much more demanding in bed after starting Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT) - and I was careful not to stress my wife with extraordinary sexual demands, but I guess it had to happen.....I flipped out and told her everything.
She was stunned.
You see, like many other normal women her age my wife just did not regard sex as important as I did. Her sex drive definitely took a nose dive after she turned 35, but that in itself is not the big problem. The big problem is that she forgot or chose to ignore a very basic fact: I don't need to talk, be romanced, be listened to, etc. As long as I get steady sex then that is enough to make me feel secure and happy. I know myself well - I need attention through physical contact, touch, SEX. This is how I feel loved. I do not give a shit about so many other things that I know my wife finds interesting, and even arousing. Holding hands while watching the movie Sleepless in Seattle is much more pleasant for her than for me, know what I mean? By the way, I will put up with all sorts of boring conversations, or listening to stupid stories about her friends, or the idiots at her job, etc., as long as I can also get attention in my own way - HOT SEX. I believe most men are just like me.
We listen to her because this is what she wants us to do, and since we love her we do everything we can to make her happy. On the other hand we expect for her to show us love in a way that we truly appreciate. This is an emotional need for us, just as much as it is a physical need. It is not something naughty, dirty, or somehow perverted. We need it to feel secure and happy. Anyone that is having problems with his wife needs to make her understand this shit very well. If you have to fight for this to sink in to her head then fight. Being persistent and fighting about this is better than ending up feeling miserable, feeling distant, banging some slut, or worse - having a secret love affair - all that will just destroy your marriage, and if you have kids that is fucking terrible. Tell her very clearly, and beware - it may take multiple sessions. If you really have to then suggest for you and her to go see a shrink or counselor together. I know that shit sucks, but if you tell her tat she will realize how important this is. Believe me - this is a far better approach than to suggest to your wife that she has a physical problem. Definitely do not suggest for her to take Cialis - that would just piss her off. Think about how you would feel if your wife asked you to take Viagra. If you tell her that something is wrong with her she will just reject you. Just tell her what the situation is doing to you. Be honest. Also, be sure you can commit to doing certain things you might be lacking in - maybe your are not spending enough time to try to romance her. She needs that, you know.
If your wife loves you she will put out; period. You are not even being unreasonable in your demands.
I think you need to set aside a certain number or time, or sessions, and start fucking. Or just kiss the relationship goodbye.
Being strung out for weeks with no sex, or continuously rebuffed won't just destroy your marriage but you.
If things don't change I'd consider a trial separation or even eventual divorce. And sooner rather than later.
If you live like this for years you will just suffer for a greater duration and be more fucked up and less marketable to other women at the eventual point of divorce.
And I say this all respectfully. I was married for 10 years and divorced my wife. Sometimes it's necessary.
Alan
ps. And also all well and good to say, "I would divorce her...but I "love" her. But if she "loved" you, she would be fucking you.
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Misc
New member
Wow this sounds a lot like what happened with me and my wife about 2 years ago. except i was the one that never wanted any. yeah low T.... it only got better after i started to cycle. i hope my doc puts me on testosterone replacement therapy (TRT) soon.
If this questions refers to me...I'd say me too. And probably every man that has been married at some point.
Women lock us into monogamous relationships under the premise that "you don't need any other pussy...because you are getting/going to get that from me."
Then they break that quid pro quo....but expect the man to keep with the status quo.
The more men that walk after such a game changer the better. Athough I didn't divorce my wife simply because she wouldn't fuck.
I divorced her because she developed a very disagreeable and uncooperative attitude, and withholding sex on occasions was simply one manifestation of that mindset.
DaHurt
Motivated
Now I'm really questioning my situation. I'm 24 and my girlfriend is 25. We used to fuck all the time. We've been together 5 years now and I literally get it like once every couple months. I raise the issue all the time and it just seems like she always has an excuse - period, just ate, bla bla bla.
Blow jobs? Nonexistent - I get the lame ass "it hurts my mouth" excuse. I have been battling this for quite some time - it has probably been pushing 3 years that we've had like NO sex life. And I would say I'm probably hornier than the average guy - so I literally have to beat it like 3-4 times A DAY.
I'm a decent enough looking dude and could easily be getting laid (not to sound full of myself or anything), so it is really tough. And we're sooo young!
I just feel so damn guilty when I have to raise the issue with her, like I'm being shallow - but Jesus, I need to get laid.
Sorry, had to vent. Besides the sex thing she is literally PERFECT. So I am really fucked because I care so much about her. I haven't the slightest clue why she doesn't want to do it - I've asked plenty of times, it always escalates into a fight.
Blow jobs? Nonexistent - I get the lame ass "it hurts my mouth" excuse. I have been battling this for quite some time - it has probably been pushing 3 years that we've had like NO sex life. And I would say I'm probably hornier than the average guy - so I literally have to beat it like 3-4 times A DAY.
I'm a decent enough looking dude and could easily be getting laid (not to sound full of myself or anything), so it is really tough. And we're sooo young!
I just feel so damn guilty when I have to raise the issue with her, like I'm being shallow - but Jesus, I need to get laid.
Sorry, had to vent. Besides the sex thing she is literally PERFECT. So I am really fucked because I care so much about her. I haven't the slightest clue why she doesn't want to do it - I've asked plenty of times, it always escalates into a fight.
Motiv8ed
Iron Clanger
For all those suffering through a dry spell with their woman...here's some advice I got from an old man.
Sit your wife/girlfriend down and tell her you've learned the secret to a happy relationship. Every night when you go to bed, your wife/girlfriend should let you know what kind of mood she's in.
If she's in the mood for sex, she simply has to reach over and stroke your pecker once and you'll know she wants it.
If she's not in the mood for sex, she should reach over and stroke it 125 times.
Sit your wife/girlfriend down and tell her you've learned the secret to a happy relationship. Every night when you go to bed, your wife/girlfriend should let you know what kind of mood she's in.
If she's in the mood for sex, she simply has to reach over and stroke your pecker once and you'll know she wants it.
If she's not in the mood for sex, she should reach over and stroke it 125 times.
What the fuck is with all these guys not getting pussy? True, I put up with it on the VERY rare occassion, but not for long.
I have lived abroad for almost 10 years, so I will be coming from an outside perspective here (perhaps)...but where have all the western MEN gone?
Women withholding sex is usually a control issue, not even a sex issue. When a woman is pleasant and cooperative, and loves you, she will do almost anything to satisfy you.
If she isn't, she has trapped you, tricked you out (eg. pussy for relationship status), gotten selfish, is trying to dominate you, or something else is wrong in your relationship.
I think I know my own personality and the nature of women to the extent that I have some rules in place.
If a woman enters into a relationship with me she has to agree to a "sex on demand" stipulation. This means we are each others fuck toys; and there is no right to refusal.
It's a reverse onus thing.
Now if she refuses, she is in the wrong and sooner, rather than later, I will terminate the relationship. Full stop. And it was all laid out from the beginning.
BUT, then there is the whole "with power comes responsibility" thing. So, for example, if I am just an inconsiderate cunt and am fucking her on the morning of her fathers funeral...we know she we will leave me. Either then or later.
In any case, "sex on demand" is a very black and white rule...and we know when it's been violated. This "waiting around til she's in the mood" stuff is nonsense.
Women will do whatever the fuck they want (as they are moody little things), but become "in the mood" when things are at their breaking point. Then they will give you a taste/the best sex of your life; and then REPEAT the shitty little cycle of . And on you go...
Also, if my woman is holding out, I will deadline her. I will literally tell her, "I'm in need and you've been putting me off for X reason, but I've had enough. If you don't fuck me good by 5pm Friday I will go fuck a whore..."
If it sounds extreme...that is great. I think it is extreme that a woman pulls me into a relationship under the understanding that she will sex me up good...and then fucks me off. As far as I'm concerned she broke the agreement first.
And if it hits that deadline I will do it. If the relationship fails...it would have anyways. Or I consider it a failed relationship because I am being dominated...and i will suck up the pain and be done with it.
Just as likely, even if you go bang your whore, she will accept it. And not make the same mistake again. If she doesn't accept it, then time to move on.
Western men have been so severely beaten down; and it is beyond logic. I'm sure there are some fantastic and fit looking guys here. But as tough as their bodies are I think they need to develop some mental toughness.
Most women think they are giving you a great deal when they offer/agree to be your girlfriend. They think that you are "+1' (i.e. with them being the "1").
In fact, I explain to women that if I am to be with them I will be "-4/5"; because that is how many women I will lose (dating-wise) from being with only them. So I have very high expectations...
Now some men will say, "well I have kids; it's not so simple". Well, it is, but perhaps that's for another post...
Alan
I have lived abroad for almost 10 years, so I will be coming from an outside perspective here (perhaps)...but where have all the western MEN gone?
Women withholding sex is usually a control issue, not even a sex issue. When a woman is pleasant and cooperative, and loves you, she will do almost anything to satisfy you.
If she isn't, she has trapped you, tricked you out (eg. pussy for relationship status), gotten selfish, is trying to dominate you, or something else is wrong in your relationship.
I think I know my own personality and the nature of women to the extent that I have some rules in place.
If a woman enters into a relationship with me she has to agree to a "sex on demand" stipulation. This means we are each others fuck toys; and there is no right to refusal.
It's a reverse onus thing.
Now if she refuses, she is in the wrong and sooner, rather than later, I will terminate the relationship. Full stop. And it was all laid out from the beginning.
BUT, then there is the whole "with power comes responsibility" thing. So, for example, if I am just an inconsiderate cunt and am fucking her on the morning of her fathers funeral...we know she we will leave me. Either then or later.
In any case, "sex on demand" is a very black and white rule...and we know when it's been violated. This "waiting around til she's in the mood" stuff is nonsense.
Women will do whatever the fuck they want (as they are moody little things), but become "in the mood" when things are at their breaking point. Then they will give you a taste/the best sex of your life; and then REPEAT the shitty little cycle of . And on you go...
Also, if my woman is holding out, I will deadline her. I will literally tell her, "I'm in need and you've been putting me off for X reason, but I've had enough. If you don't fuck me good by 5pm Friday I will go fuck a whore..."
If it sounds extreme...that is great. I think it is extreme that a woman pulls me into a relationship under the understanding that she will sex me up good...and then fucks me off. As far as I'm concerned she broke the agreement first.
And if it hits that deadline I will do it. If the relationship fails...it would have anyways. Or I consider it a failed relationship because I am being dominated...and i will suck up the pain and be done with it.
Just as likely, even if you go bang your whore, she will accept it. And not make the same mistake again. If she doesn't accept it, then time to move on.
Western men have been so severely beaten down; and it is beyond logic. I'm sure there are some fantastic and fit looking guys here. But as tough as their bodies are I think they need to develop some mental toughness.
Most women think they are giving you a great deal when they offer/agree to be your girlfriend. They think that you are "+1' (i.e. with them being the "1").
In fact, I explain to women that if I am to be with them I will be "-4/5"; because that is how many women I will lose (dating-wise) from being with only them. So I have very high expectations...
Now some men will say, "well I have kids; it's not so simple". Well, it is, but perhaps that's for another post...
Alan
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