How man dudes has your girl been with?

[Blondie_Bombshell]

This double standard makes women afraid to experiment sexually especially with multiple partners, I blame this for the reason that some women never experience an orgasm.

I love sex, but I think manogamy is overrated; sex is not love.

Anyways, I wouldnt want to date/marry/whatever, with anyone who hadnt experienced someone else. I think that is a bomb waiting to go off.

Either way, the number of sexual partners has no bearing on a woman's self respect, morality, confidence or psychology? Cmon you have to joking?

 

[TonySuicideKing]

DING DING DING lol. blondie nailed it hahaha, what kind of bomb are we looking at tho? Watch out... might get that A-bomb scenario hahaha

 

[Zero V]

FWIW, swingers have some of the best marriage success rates in America.

According to studies.

I will go with all the marriages I see in the churches I go to that have lasted 30-60 years ands till going lol.

There are many theories as to why marriage success rates have dropped for the general public, but I cannot speak them without appearing zealous.

Having been with one woman, I made all my screw ups(which looking back I was a "tard" ) and am happy and looking for the one now. I would not mind if my wife had been with a guy or two, but personal restraint shows alot on a persons will power. That will help decide the fate of marriages. Once again it comes down to the "numbers" game we are taught today. Sleep with many women, have more money than others, have nicer things, etc,etc. Its all about having more.

Not all changes in the last 50 years have have the positive effects people intended them too.

I will start looking and digging up the psychology studies about desensitizing a persons ability to attach to an individual as they have more partners. Not to mention, there are physical changes involved that change a girls appeal to a guy.

It is ultimately personal choice though. But a woman should not complain when the guy she sees as her dream man hears about how many guys she has been with and decides he doesn't want that baggage in a partner. Once again its a personal choice, but now its a "judgemental" personal choice because she has to deal with the results of choices. And this applies vice versa with guys, though guys usually get it easier when it comes to not having the past matter. That I believe is genetic programming though. I have ignored a couple girls due to this, because quite honestly there is no benefit from her "experience" all that experience can be learned with a lifelong partner anyway.

From what I have witnessed in all the relationships that have happened since I graduated, amongst maybe 200 peers/friends....already seeing the divorces, the cheating, the ruined relationships etc... The ones who are going strong are the ones who have only been with each other.

The bond formed is stronger than otherwise possible, generally speaking though exceptions exist. Why do you think most people never forget their first love?

 

[dialtone]

the psychology you are speaking of zero is bogus. it is large group data based on selected population samples and the primary means of data collection is a lousy questionnaire. They strap a silly equation to it, it comes out insignificant so they add a couple zeros to the population size to workout their faults and publish it to make money. Then they have people on forums saying that they know psychology about relationships....bogus and anyone who believes that shit is a moron.

Anywho...I agree with the others that monogamy is stupid. The people you go to church with suffer and waste their lives because they have been taught that you will burn in hell if you get divorced. In my opinion, you have one life to live and life takes you in a direction where the person you were once compatible with is no longer, then you should get out and find happiness. I could go my whole life only eating anchovies if I believed I would burn eternally for eating anything else, but what kind of life is that? Just because someone has been married for 50 yrs doesn't mean they were happy...poor people.

People, guys and girls, should sleep with as many people as they want. they should also understand that they may meet a person who might not like that. That's ok...I've done a lot of shit people don't like. If a person cares about it, thats up to them. Some girls get really offended by steroids for example. As a guy, we know that some people don't like steroids. We take that chance and hope the person we meet understands.

RJ - I think you misunderstood what I was saying. For everyone, it is not our actions that really matter in any situation. It is WHY we do things that matter. If I pull a gun on someone to rob them, it's a lot different than if I pull a gun for protection....same action, different reason. Personally, I don't care how many people a girl has been with. But I could see why it matters to some for the reasons I explained. And of course, that would never keep me from marrying a girl. But again, its up to the person to decide if it matters. With everything we do, we have to understand that someone somewhere doesn't approve of it, and someday we might meet them.

 

[Jusselin]

But on that note, many of the girls I have/do talk to are virgins. Even at the ages of 19,22, 24 they are still virgins and very beautiful/attractive. They just have Moral values, self respect and are religious(as am I) so I kinda dont have to worry about that question with any of the current ones I like when its 0 because I have studied alot of psychology about increased number of partners resulting in a lessened ability to attach to a single partner.

My wife was a virgin until our wedding night, she was very religious too, she was actually a pastor (not over a church or anything, just had credentials) and i was a young guy just getting out of my wild years, i honestly have no idea what she liked about me but i thank God for her every day. She really is awesome.


Growing up i use to party so damn hard and had so many opportunities to sleep with what ever and who ever (being on the football team at a champion school helped lol) but for some reason i was so scared to have sex growing up...i always afraid of an STD or even getting a girl pregnant (this was happening left and right to kids our age) so i never actually had sex with a girl until i was married. My wife later told me that she always prayed God would keep her future husband clean for her...Pretty crazy shit right! Her prayers scared me into not having sex lol.

 

[RAW3NVY]

This double standard makes women afraid to experiment sexually especially with multiple partners, I blame this for the reason that some women never experience an orgasm.

I love sex, but I think manogamy is overrated; sex is not love.

Anyways, I wouldnt want to date/marry/whatever, with anyone who hadnt experienced someone else. I think that is a bomb waiting to go off.

Either way, the number of sexual partners has no bearing on a woman's self respect, morality, confidence or psychology? Cmon you have to joking?

I agree with this perspective.. My wife was honest.. she told me close to 30. I have been with close to 50 or 60. She also said that they were mainly in high school.. so really she was experimenting, so who cares. My wife is loyal to me and I would never think twice about her cheating.

Shes tight and tiny so to me I never really even think about that shit. Jus sayn

 

[cyto33]

i think BB is right about the girl not reaching a climax so this will make them look at other options. either with other females or with a number of guys.
its not the same for a dude cause we mostly bust a nut no matter what.
BUT big but here.
for me if the girl dont cum and show the excitment of it theres no chance in hell i will bust.

so anyhow its in the past you at this time is all that matters unless you compare each other to past relation ships. if your doing this go see a shrink your not right.

 

[Mr P]

Well in my case it just happened to be that Mrs P was a virgin, I would have accepted her with a past with a low number, or a high number, I valued her as a person and fell in love for with her for so many other reasons.

As a man it wouldn't have been fair for me to judge her based on her past, or to look for someone that didn't have a past, Hell, I had one.

Is Monogamy over rated ? Not in my opinion, what's wrong with being monogamus ?, it shows that you are content in your relationship and secure in your marriage. I am happy, been for almost 15 years, and our attraction is stil as big as it was in the begining, I think for a marriage to be successful there's many factors that play a role, you have to work at it, and remember that The grass is not greener on the other side, the grass is greener where you water it.

There's no such thing as a women having more fun or enjoying sex more with multiple partners than she can with her partner.

Just my 2 cents.

 

[3J]

eh... although every woman is nuts and has baggage, i don't try to overthink shit like that. Again, you should know what type of person you are involved with within the first year, certainly before you ask their hand in marriage.

But to your point, if your woman had sex for reasons like that when she was young and hadn't really matured, or found the right person to marry, is that going to deter you from marrying her? Unless she is a black widow, who cares if she fucked dudes to fit in? Or because she was pressured (like 99% of most girls that age).

What I'm getting at is why ask in the first place? If the girl is perfect for you, loyal, loving, and whatever else you require, what does it matter?

i think the majority of guys feel they NEED to know this is because traditionally men have fragile egos and if they hear that their woman has had what they think is alot of sexual partners, or god forbid more than them, they feel threatened. Same reason why men are worse at casual sex than women (on the whole). Men need their egos stroked constantly and can't feel as if their partner is "better" than them at anything.

Again, this is my take. I think of myself as a little different than most men when it comes to this, and sex in general. I could just never see the point in it being a conversation. All it does is cause a bunch of bad feelings that you would never have in the first place if you could just let it go and focus on important shit. Yes, sex is important, very actually, but IMO not in this regard.

I could have sat all day and worried about how many dudes my wife was with before we got married, but i chose to focus on how wonderfully loyal she was, how amazing she made me feel when i was or wasn't with her, and how I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.

The fact that she's an absolute freak just made it better. So I say thanks to any of the dudes (or chicks. lol) who showed her any of her tricks...

Cause I get to enjoy them forever!!!

Yea this is a newer contemporary idea. Being middle eastern i can tell u cultures that are still based upon old world honor andshame contextual views will not agree with what your saying. But i gotta tell ya my gf has been with more women then i have most prob and it doesnt bother me at all. But if it were to be guys i would have been a bit bothered by it. Fortunately she was gay when i met her lol

 

[CHIP WADOWSKI]

Yea this is a newer contemporary idea. Being middle eastern i can tell u cultures that are still based upon old world honor andshame contextual views will not agree with what your saying. But i gotta tell ya my gf has been with more women then i have most prob and it doesnt bother me at all. But if it were to be guys i would have been a bit bothered by it. Fortunately she was gay when i met her lol

....Talk about turnin' that ass INSIDE OUT!! LITERALLY!!

GREAT JOB, ELEPHANT TRUNK. YOUR CONTRIBUTION TO YOUR FELLOW MAN HAS BEEN DUELY NOTED.

 

[RJ]

I will start looking and digging up the psychology studies about desensitizing a persons ability to attach to an individual as they have more partners. Not to mention, there are physical changes involved that change a girls appeal to a guy.

don't go posting studies on my behalf. You are a religious thinker and base your decisions primarily on your faith, so we will never agree on most things. Another agree to disagree scenario.

The bond formed is stronger than otherwise possible, generally speaking though exceptions exist. Why do you think most people never forget their first love?

Again, like Blondie said, you're equating love with sex, which again, we will never agree on. Yes, you can be in love with the person you have sex with, but you don't have to be, and for most people they won't be. Especially today.

Sex doesn't have to be about love. And alot more people are able to have sex without emotion than you would think... and not just men.

As for the double standard thing, its like any double standard for men and women. They are all bullshit.

Dtone, i get what your saying, it makes more sense with that post.

 

[RJ]

Fortunately she was gay when i met her lol

so you guys had a lot in common then huh?

That's great 3J... I'm really happy for you two.

 

[3J]

so you guys had a lot in common then huh?

That's great 3J... I'm really happy for you two.

Hey ur always the one bent over when we do it ur the gay oneim just there for the workout lmfao

 

[3J]

so you guys had a lot in common then huh?

That's great 3J... I'm really happy for you two.

Hey ur always the one bent over when we do it ur the gay oneim just there for the workout lmfao. I only hope to have the great marriage u and ur wife have when im at that point

 

[RJ]

Hey ur always the one bent over when we do it ur the gay oneim just there for the workout lmfao. I only hope to have the great marriage u and ur wife have when im at that point

hey stuttery Joe, i heard you the first time, you didn't have to post it twice. lol

And thanks brother... she's the bomb for sure. I'm a lucky bastard.

 

[3J]

hey stuttery Joe, i heard you the first time, you didn't have to post it twice. lol

And thanks brother... she's the bomb for sure. I'm a lucky bastard.

Yea trying to navigate through and respond on this forum on my fone is a headache. I cant do my advising till i get on my comp. And i got hit up to work a 48 hr shift yesterday when i was supposed to only work 12. Go figure. All my shit is at home

 

[RJ]

Yea trying to navigate through and respond on this forum on my fone is a headache. I cant do my advising till i get on my comp. And i got hit up to work a 48 hr shift yesterday when i was supposed to only work 12. Go figure. All my shit is at home

heroes never sleep biatch!!

 

[3J]

I dont wanna be a hero. I dont want any medals. Im tired of saving lives. Things work out the way they do though. Thats life

 

[RJ]

I dont wanna be a hero. I dont want any medals. Im tired of saving lives. Things work out the way they do though. Thats life

I never said I think you're a hero.

 

[dialtone]

can you guys stop hijacking this thread and get a god damn room