Victorian guy
Banned -- Cant respect a free board
Brothers,
I had the most unpleasant dinner this past Friday evening... a true disaster, brothers!
I was having dinner with my family. My father sat at the head of the table, and as we enjoyed a 7 course meal the subject drifted to that of my 'future.'
"Son, you are 33 years old... graduate of a top university...bred of the finest stock...yet you waste yourself on this horrible bodybuilding nonsense. I demand it cease- at once!!" he roared.
I stopped chewing on my mouthful of pacific smoked salmon.
I looked slowly around the table at my family and guests, glaring at each of them. I stood up, quivering in rage. Through gritted teeth, I addressed my father- "Father, I am going to be Mr. Olympia and bring honour to this family! You'll see....soon, I shall be the biggest, most developed human being in recorded history!" I declared. "It's simply revolting, really horrible...all those muscles...you MUST stop it! tsk tsk!" my 108 year old great-grandmother croaked. My sister and mother chimed in "A sick, narcissistic pastime- it's DISGUSTING!!" they sneered.
I had had enough- "No man respects his elders as I, but this is infringing on my very reason for existence! FUCK ALL OF YOU FUCKING WANKERS! YOU'LL SEE! DIE DIE DIE!!!" I screamed, and struck the table with my fist with such force that it cracked down the middle. I picked up a bottle of red wine, chugged it down, and threw it against the wall, shattering it to bits! Screaming "NOBODY FUCKING UNDERSTANDS ME! ARRRGGH! FUUUUCK!!!" I flipped over the table and stormed out! My great-grandmother got in my way, and I picked her up and bodyslammed her on the hardwood floor, putting her right through it! Nobby entered the scene, just in time, as my mother and older sister were advancing with hostile intent- Nobby caught them both in a devastating double clothesline, sending them arse-over-tit onto the floor. "Fookin bitches! Ere you go!" he snarled, as he gave them each a well-deserved boot to the ribs.
Nobby and I marched out. "Nobby, let's head to the gym...I'll show them all!" I roared, so loud that the house trembled.
"Roight. Fookin gym. Let's fookin do it!!" Nobby added, in his thick east-end of London accent. We stopped at Marvin's group home (he is the Down Syndrome's afflicted lad that works out with us) punched out one of the staff who got in our way, and brought Marvin along with us!
We got to the gym...and it was closed!
Seems that on Fridays it shuts at 930pm. Not to be dismayed, Marvin threw himself through the front door, screaming, and we entered and had the place to ourselves. After an incredibly hard-core workout, we ordered a 12-person Chinese meal, and Nobby gathered the various liquor bottles and cigars from the Rolls Royce and we drank and smoked cigars till the wee hours of the morning, then passed out on the gym floor. I awoke to a gymful of smoke- seems Marvin must have dropped a lit cigar on the floor! As the fire spread and the sirens of fire engines neared, I woke Nobby and we staggered out of the gym, and passed out in a back alley. Later that morning, as we headed down the street, passing the burnt-out gym, I mentioned to Nobby "Seems the place burnt down. Oh well, I couldn't stand their 'no-injecting- in the locker room' nonsense!" I sneered.
"Fookin roight" Nobby commiserated.
"Looks like Marvin didn't make it...oh, there he is- alive and well!" I exclaimed, noticing paramedics wheeling a badly burned Marvin into an ambulance.
Has anyone else had to suffer from parental disapproval of his Iron Warrior lifestyle?
__________________
I had the most unpleasant dinner this past Friday evening... a true disaster, brothers!
I was having dinner with my family. My father sat at the head of the table, and as we enjoyed a 7 course meal the subject drifted to that of my 'future.'
"Son, you are 33 years old... graduate of a top university...bred of the finest stock...yet you waste yourself on this horrible bodybuilding nonsense. I demand it cease- at once!!" he roared.
I stopped chewing on my mouthful of pacific smoked salmon.
I looked slowly around the table at my family and guests, glaring at each of them. I stood up, quivering in rage. Through gritted teeth, I addressed my father- "Father, I am going to be Mr. Olympia and bring honour to this family! You'll see....soon, I shall be the biggest, most developed human being in recorded history!" I declared. "It's simply revolting, really horrible...all those muscles...you MUST stop it! tsk tsk!" my 108 year old great-grandmother croaked. My sister and mother chimed in "A sick, narcissistic pastime- it's DISGUSTING!!" they sneered.
I had had enough- "No man respects his elders as I, but this is infringing on my very reason for existence! FUCK ALL OF YOU FUCKING WANKERS! YOU'LL SEE! DIE DIE DIE!!!" I screamed, and struck the table with my fist with such force that it cracked down the middle. I picked up a bottle of red wine, chugged it down, and threw it against the wall, shattering it to bits! Screaming "NOBODY FUCKING UNDERSTANDS ME! ARRRGGH! FUUUUCK!!!" I flipped over the table and stormed out! My great-grandmother got in my way, and I picked her up and bodyslammed her on the hardwood floor, putting her right through it! Nobby entered the scene, just in time, as my mother and older sister were advancing with hostile intent- Nobby caught them both in a devastating double clothesline, sending them arse-over-tit onto the floor. "Fookin bitches! Ere you go!" he snarled, as he gave them each a well-deserved boot to the ribs.
Nobby and I marched out. "Nobby, let's head to the gym...I'll show them all!" I roared, so loud that the house trembled.
"Roight. Fookin gym. Let's fookin do it!!" Nobby added, in his thick east-end of London accent. We stopped at Marvin's group home (he is the Down Syndrome's afflicted lad that works out with us) punched out one of the staff who got in our way, and brought Marvin along with us!
We got to the gym...and it was closed!
Seems that on Fridays it shuts at 930pm. Not to be dismayed, Marvin threw himself through the front door, screaming, and we entered and had the place to ourselves. After an incredibly hard-core workout, we ordered a 12-person Chinese meal, and Nobby gathered the various liquor bottles and cigars from the Rolls Royce and we drank and smoked cigars till the wee hours of the morning, then passed out on the gym floor. I awoke to a gymful of smoke- seems Marvin must have dropped a lit cigar on the floor! As the fire spread and the sirens of fire engines neared, I woke Nobby and we staggered out of the gym, and passed out in a back alley. Later that morning, as we headed down the street, passing the burnt-out gym, I mentioned to Nobby "Seems the place burnt down. Oh well, I couldn't stand their 'no-injecting- in the locker room' nonsense!" I sneered.
"Fookin roight" Nobby commiserated.
"Looks like Marvin didn't make it...oh, there he is- alive and well!" I exclaimed, noticing paramedics wheeling a badly burned Marvin into an ambulance.
Has anyone else had to suffer from parental disapproval of his Iron Warrior lifestyle?
__________________
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