Relationships and greener grass.

There's no greener grass. Work with what you got to make it great. Married 23 years. Ups and downs...now mostly ups! Fall in love again and do your best. Of course, you both have to want it to work....and it will if you're both willing.
 
Very true... :) Stevenmd, it comes from within and exudes outwards for everyone to see and feel
 
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Smilee I really think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that thinks it's ok for you to sleep around with other men. It would probably be easier to find a girl thats ok with you sharing other women and men together. Coming from a young males POV it's very rare to find a guy that is willing to share his chick, with either sex's really.
 
Smilee21 said:
From a younger woman's perspective on the situation also getting over a tough breakup, once you feel confident in ourself and work on finding that person you were before the toxic relationship broke you. People really can see a difference in you, the sexual vibes and energies can be felt by the ppl around you, you will get approached more than if you were insecure with yourself. You tend to carry yourself differently once that confidence comes back.

However, every single day is a struggle to stay away from those random ppl who approach me, wanting to chat and/or sometimes go a little futher, because I do not know what type of person they might really be. It's scary... The grass is never greener on the other side, certain things attract me to a woman and certain things attract me to a man, and as a single woman who is into both Sexes, dating does have it's perks. There isn't anything you need to commit to, you can do as you please with whomever you want, it's just about having fun, but there comes a time when the fun fades, The SEX might be awesome but can you stand being around them in a day to day scenario. That is the hard part, I have come to realize I NEED more Subtance. I get bored easily, I am very impulsive, and like to take risks and challenges. But not necessarily with my heart.

Can a person causally date and have Open relationships without letting their emotions and feelings get involved? I would love to just play, and just live life freely without feeling like I am tied down to anyone. Until that one special person comes along that will sweep me off my feet persay. LOL

I am not searching for any type of person, just want to be able to enjoy the time with them without drama. No lies, manipulating mind games, just being upfront and straight forward with what we both want, to give and receive the same amount of Love and Affection from one another. It would be nice to have that one person that seems to complete me without taking away MY INDIVIDUALITY.

Pleasing eachother in every way possible, supporting one anothers crazy dreams, and just living...
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I think I could possibly love you.
 
I m totally down with those who find that one...but life long monogamy is unnatural.

I m good for about 2.5 yr s max it would seem. If I m gonna make payments I m driving something new.

Love exploring fresh territories and topographies..it s exciting. Like cave diving.

I get bored with everything that is not a rush..and few things are as a much as a rush as unwrapping my new toy...

Just being honest.
 
I have a lot of experience with this over the last few years.

I agree with Mrs. P......Relationships take a ton of work, but first you have to decide if the juice is worth the squeeze.

I've always dated very attractive women.....like Rose Bowl Queen hot! Thought that's what i wanted....a hot ass girlfriend, but my relationships always seemed to have problems. Everything was materialistic and the hotties always turned out to have a shitty attitude that i didn't wanna deal with, and didn't want to bring around my kid.

I met my current Girlfriend a year ago. She wasn't as attractive as I was use to dating. Don't get me wrong, she's a beautiful girl, but not the perfect "10" like i was use to dating....but, she has a kick ass attitude. She's really great to me, get's a long with my family, and all that good stuff. I realized that if I wanted a healthy relationship it was going to take a lot of effort, and comprimise, so I focused on all the good and forgot about the bad. Soon I realised that the good far out weight the bad and it's been awesome!

"Sometimes the grass is greener because of all the shit they use as fertalizer"
 
bro, you want a greener grass throw some fertilizer and water it, shit, what happen to the good old days, people if u want a great marriage your gonna have to work on it, nothings perfect if 2 people love each other they will work to maintain happy through good and bad times, thats just plain and simple.
 
Mr P said:
bro, you want a greener grass throw some fertilizer and water it, shit, what happen to the good old days, people if u want a great marriage your gonna have to work on it, nothings perfect if 2 people love each other they will work to maintain happy through good and bad times, thats just plain and simple.
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x2
 
At times I feel as though I am the person another uses to fill a void in their life until they meet their partner. I get put into these situations where I start off these relationships as friends, then they show interest in me in a different way, I begin to look at them more then a friend and as a possible potenial partner, we take the time to get to know eachother, flirt and what not, are there for them in ways we might not be there for others, and then when another person enters their life. I am left off to the side, like the forgotten child, left more confused then when we began the friendship. I don't like it, don't give mixed signals it isn't cool, it's a good thing I am a strong independent person and am not Needy and am ok to be by myself, but I am still a Loyal, Caring, Trustworthy person who loves unconditionally and as a giver I have lots of love to give to right people.

If I am not the type of person someone wants a relationship with then they should not cross the friendship line ever... keep it as friends and only friends. The flirting and what not are mixed signals and complicates a healthy friendship between two individuals.
 
Bullseye Forever said:
ive been to court several times for not paying my ex the kids insurance

I didnt cause i wasnt getting to see my kids,i mean who wouldnt you know,but after being threatened to be putting in jail countless times,i had to pay,all the negative sayings from her side of the family has taking a toll on me,i want revenge but i know thats not the way it should be,but it hurts
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Congrats on the new woman and the great life you live now. But I have to ask, more of a statement actually....only because I am in a similar situation and see things from the woman's/mother's perspective....

DISCLAIMER- it is no way an attack on Bullseye, I have no way of knowing his whole situation, I am basing this off what he wrote and making a generalized statement on single parents in general.

It seems this is the case most of the time. Parents thinking that the things they do are in revenge to the other parent. Really, it effects the other parent in no way, it effects the children. My ex is supposed to pay a measly 231/month in child support, does he? No. Does it break my bank to not have that extra 231/month? No. But does it make it tougher to get my son the things he needs in order to be happy/healthy? Yes. Does it put a strain on him hearing me and his dad argue about it? Def. I just hope all single parents realize what effects their actions take on their kids and not what effect it takes on the other parent. Really who gives a fuck about the other parent. Take care of your kids. I always tell my ex that me and him separated not him and his son. I am sure that he feels, I wanted the separation so let me deal with it. However, me having to go through all the difficulties alone only made me stronger and any doubts I had in ending the relationship quickly disappear. Anyways... =p Sorry for taking over on that note but I read his story and it dawned on me how often than not parents go for the revenge....
 
But she does sound like the devil...

And she is a prime example of a woman trying to spite the man by taking away visitation not realizing she is taking away her children's FATHER! I HATE women like this...
 
Sassytassie84 said:
Congrats on the new woman and the great life you live now. But I have to ask, more of a statement actually....only because I am in a similar situation and see things from the woman's/mother's perspective....

DISCLAIMER- it is no way an attack on Bullseye, I have no way of knowing his whole situation, I am basing this off what he wrote and making a generalized statement on single parents in general.

It seems this is the case most of the time. Parents thinking that the things they do are in revenge to the other parent. Really, it effects the other parent in no way, it effects the children. My ex is supposed to pay a measly 231/month in child support, does he? No. Does it break my bank to not have that extra 231/month? No. But does it make it tougher to get my son the things he needs in order to be happy/healthy? Yes. Does it put a strain on him hearing me and his dad argue about it? Def. I just hope all single parents realize what effects their actions take on their kids and not what effect it takes on the other parent. Really who gives a fuck about the other parent. Take care of your kids. I always tell my ex that me and him separated not him and his son. I am sure that he feels, I wanted the separation so let me deal with it. However, me having to go through all the difficulties alone only made me stronger and any doubts I had in ending the relationship quickly disappear. Anyways... =p Sorry for taking over on that note but I read his story and it dawned on me how often than not parents go for the revenge....
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When I took my ex to court to establish 50/50 parental and legal custody... I didn't go after him for child support. (He was going to school and I was providing for our family- so he wasn't working) when we split up he still wasn't working. But I figured as long as he took care of my son 50/50 with me everything would be ok. Well in Sept 2011 he started working for Kaiser and gets paid $25 a hour... I assumed as being the father he would start providing for our son financially. However that is not happening and I have had my son 95/5 due to my ex's work schedule. I live in a 3 bedroom house, just my son and I. I work hard to provide for my son and feel it's unfair to do it all by myself when it took 2 of us to make him. My ex is bi-polar and I cannot approach him in any way without him getting angry and accousing me of things. So I think I need to take him to court to establish child support.

I can take care of my son now... no problem but I am just looking into the future, if we don't set terms down now my ex will think it's ok to not provide for my son years down the road. Medical, dental, vision, child care, after school activities etc... are not cheap and will definitely get more expensive the older he gets.

I wish my ex would step up... and be the responsible father I know he can be... Without me having to get the courts involved to make him pay.
 
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