12 week weight gainer

[bigbuffstaples]

Friday Jan. 23/04

Diet:
-Wasn't that great to be honest. We're low on food here, so hopefully the folks will get some grocery's tonight, if not i will tomorrow during the day. But i still ate pretty decent.

Training:
-Did shoulders and Traps. Man what a workout. I'll be feelin it tomorrow, but in a good way. Started off with standing barbell press, did 70 for 10reps, then 100 for 8 reps, then 115 for 6 reps, then 70 again very slowly for 8 reps. Then i did seated dumbbell press. Did 45's for 10 reps, then 60's for 8 reps, then 65's for 5 reps (1 assisted). My shoulders were burning up by this point. So i did my side/front/back lateral raises (using 20's and 25's for reps around 10). Then i did upright rows with barbells (which i just started doing so i'm so weak at them). But i started with 40lbs, then 70lbs, then 70 again then 50. Then i did behind the back barbell shrugs, started with 135, then went up to 185, and pyramided back down. Then i finished with dumbbell shrugs, started with 60's for slow controlled reps to 10, then the 80's, then the 85's, then i was like fuck it and left.

Notes:
-Well tomorrow is my day off from the gym so i'm gonna go have some drinks tonight and hang out with my friends. Then i gotta work tomorrow night and one of my buddy's is comin down from university for the night so i'll probably chill with him and his girl and some other friends, but i won't drink then. I'm gonna try and only drink 8 beer tonight, but you know how it is, once you start...

Till, sunday maybe. I'm out.

 

[bigbuffstaples]

Sat. Jan.24/04

Diet:
-SHIT

Training:
-None

Notes:
-3 hours sleep last night, woke up still drunk, had to work 7 hours, i just got home, and now i gotta go out and work in 2 hours for another 3 or 4 hours, Then go to a movie, but i hope that girl is working tonight that i wanna hook up with, cause i'm gonna try and get her digits or something, that'll make me feel better about all of this. If she's not working,,, shitty.
But i might even end up drin....... no, i can't drink again tonight, i gotta train tomorrow.... i need sleep, everything is hazey today, i'm so slow too, it's not the hungover part, it's the extreme lack of sleep.

Hopefully i'll be good tomorrow to work out. Till then.

 

[bigbuffstaples]

Monday Jan.26/04

Diet:
-Pretty good today, not as many of the "good" foods in the house but tomorrow after the gym i'm going grocery shopping. Had my vitamins and creating and protein shake after the gym. Had 50mg of andro before it. Feel good today.

Training:
-Did chest and abs today. Bench pressed 215 for 5 reps (1 assisted), inclinde dumbbell pressed the 80's for 4 reps (no assistance), and did flat bench dumbbell flys with the 45's for 5 reps.

Notes:
-Well, this weekend wasn't good for training. My buddy and his girl came down from university like i think i already posted, and i basically worked and got shitty. Drank 2 nights in a row when i wasn't planning on it. Had to do yesterday's training today, but i'm just gonna skip tomorrow's rest day to catch up where i lost.
I started feeling depressed again this morning, but once i hit the gym it went away fast, and i felt a lot stronger today and i think i'm getting noticeably bigger. Hopefully the pics will show that when i take new ones in a few weeks.
On another note, i gotta try and get hooked up with this girl i'm interested in.. hopefully tonight i'll run into her, i haven't yet this weekend, kind of shitty, but ah well, hopefully i'll get some soon. It's now been 4 weeks today since i've been with a girl... uhh.
Till tomorrow.

 

[bigbuffstaples]

Tues. Jan.27/04

Diet:
-It was alright so far, i've only been up for 4 hours, but i had 3 egg whites and 1 whole egg, my protein shake (twice so far), can of tuna, vitamins, creatine, andro (50mg), banana, chicken breast, and some yogurt. So far so good i think.

Training:
-Did Back and abs. Tried doing wide grip chins again, did lat pulldowns, seated cable rows (wide grip), dead lifts (155 pounds, weak i know i know, gotta start somewhere though), bent over barbell rows (underhand grip), then i just did sit ups on a decline and i got my buddy to throw a 12 pound medicine ball to me, did a few sets of that with at least 20 reps, gonna fuckin hurt tomorrow.

Notes:
-Feels like i'm getting bigger and stronger for sure, and my friend that i go to the gym with said today that he's noticing i'm gettin bigger for sure. Nice to hear it from other people, but i still know i got a LONG way to go to be where i wanna be at.
Also, fuck, i don't know why but i called up Mrs. J this morning on her cell. I knew she wouldn't have it turned on cause she was in school, but i dunno, it was fucking weird, like an impulse call. I thought about it afterwards and was thinking "What the fuck was i gonna say?" something like "Ahh, i'm not sure why i called"... but i do wanna call her and just be like "Fuck, i lost you as a girlfriend, but your my best friend and i don't wanna wait a while before we can hang out like best friends do (although it was my idea to not hang out for a while). I feel like i should definatly wait though, and i'm going too. I was doing good keeping her out of my head, but i can never get a hold of this girl that i'm interested in (she wasn't workin last night), and i dont know her fucking number. Ah well, i'm going away for the weekend to some big party at a friends place, big university party going on, so hopefully something good will happen there. We'll see.
Arms tomorrow.

P.S. - FUCK i love working out.

 

[bigbuffstaples]

Wed. Jan.28/04

Diet:
-Ate pretty good today, got everything in that i usually do.

Training:
-Did arms, pretty good workout, my arms were swollen pretty good afterwards.

Notes:
-Still been feeling tired the last few days, and slightly depressed. But i'm still going, so it's all good.

Legs tomorrow.

 

[bigbuffstaples]

Thurs. Jan.30/04

Diet:
-It was pretty decent today, had a bad sleep so that didn't help me get it all in but i still did alright.

Training:
-Was so tired, but i did Legs and abs,, good workout though, noticed increase in strength.

Notes:
-Found out last night that my ex has a boyfriend now, he's some fuckin french guy. I was so fuckin pissed cause she strung me along like a fuckin puppet. She said she doesn't even wanna try and be friends (which is all she wanted), so i was like "Alright, yeah that's cool", and i saw it all coming. I was only mad because she strung me along, but fuck it, i'm cool as shit with it now. it helps because he's got a girly sounding name, he's small, doesn't look that good, and my guess is my dick is bigger then his for sure so haha, she lost out. She downsized and i'm gonna find someone so much better then her. Plus tomorrow night i'm going up to some huge university party and my buddy was like "man, i'll get you a girl ready before you even get here", so that'll help me feel a lot better. I'm just gonna workout tomorrow, then go up to X and have a wicked fuckin time.
Keepin my fingers crossed for gettin some ass!!!

 

[bigbuffstaples]

Friday Jan.30/04

Diet:
-I jsut got up, had banana and protein shake so far, it should be pretty decent until about 7 tonight, so i'm tryin to eat as much as i can while it's still early in the morning.

Training:
-I'm gonna work shoulders today. I won't be able to reply for a few days maybe so i figure i'll just put it up now so i know where i left off and all that. I'm definatly going to the gym before i leave though.

Notes:
-Well, i'm going up to a big party for the night. Hope to god it'll be a good time and will put me in such a better mood. I don't wanna get TOO trashed, cause i'm tryin to cut down on that, but i have a feeling i will because there's gonna be so much booze around and once i start, i dunno, hard to slow down haha. But i think i need it anyway. All the shit i've been through in the last month, i think i deserve it.

The goal is to hook up with 1-3 girls over the period of 12 hours, and i'm gonna try and get pictures of some slutty girls. Keepin my fingers crossed, as you all should too haha.

Will post again when i get back and have time. Till then.

 

[bigbuffstaples]

Sat. Jan.31/04

Diet:
-It's 3 in the afternoon and i haven't eaten yet, VERY bad today.

Training:
-Fuck no,,, no training today.

Notes:
-Party last night was alright, i drank a lot more then i planned, then we went to a bar up there where i drank more. Met some girl from bermuda i think she said, while i was waitin in the line to get in, ran into her a few times in the bar, nothin happened. I made out with some girl, and i think she might be the same girl, but maybe not, but some girl came up and started dancin with me and she was holding my hand and she said something, but i couldn't hear her at all, i just kept yelling "WHAT?", and she kept repeating it, i swear we did that for like a minute, then i got pissed, so i danced a bit more, went to take a piss, couldn't find her again... then i don't know how, but i broke a pool stick over my shoulders by accident, and i was thinkin "Oh shit" cause i didn't mean to, then i saw 2 bouncers walking towards me and my friend haha, they kicked us out good.

I almost had a threesome with a friend and some girl, but i'm so glad i didn't now, cause she was nasty,, she was our last resort but she wasn't at the party when we got back (thank god). So i didn't really get anything last night (well no sex anyway), but i had a wicked time,,, But i think i wanna lay off the drinkin for a while.

Chest tomorrow.

 

[bigbuffstaples]

Sunday Feb.1/04

Diet:
-Not bad today i gotta say, much better then the last few days that's for sure. Had my vitamins, creatine and andro and protein shakes, some tuna, oat meal, chicken, so it's been good so far. I'd like to start getting in more fruits and vegetables, so there's a goal to work on.

Training:
-Did chest today, wasn't even planning on going cause i felt so incredibly tired and depressed. But the depression turned into anger, so i took it out on the weights. I flat bench dumbbell pressed the 80's for 6 reps (no assistance), then i did incline dumbbell flys with the 45's for about 5 reps, then i did cable flys afterwards. I didn't feel like i really worked out that much, but my chest sure felt like i did. It was a good workout.

Notes:
-I've been in some VERY weird moods lately. I know it has a bit to do with the ex. and the fact that she's so happy and i'm not. I even went out to the party friday night at X and had a pretty good time. But i dunno, i'm feelin a bit better tonight, and i've been sitting down and talkin with my parents for hours and hours, just talkin about stuff. It's weird how little i've talked to them my whole life. But our relationship has grown very strong in the last few weeks so that's very good. I've been trying to hang around all kinds of different people (not just the same old friends like i usually do), and it's pretty cool to mix up who i'm hanging out with. Keeps things interesting. I still haven't ran into that girl that i'm interested in, but i'm not sure how much i want to, because i don't think it's the best idea for me to get into a relationship right now, as i may just be doing it to "fill the gap" in my life and i don't wanna put any girl through the pain i'm in. It'd just be unfair. So i'm just gonna keep taking it one day at a time, keep lifting, get more serious about the things i enjoy, and have fun for a while.

Back and Traps tomorrow.

 

[bigbuffstaples]

Monday Feb.2/04

Diet:
-It's alright. It's still early in the day, just got in from work.

Training:
-Haven't trained yet,,, i hope i will though, i really do. I've got enough adrenaline running through me and enough anger that i should be able to work out, but i dunno. I'm losing motivation like crazy, losing motivation to do anything really.

Notes:
-I don't give a fuck who reads this and if you call me a bitch or whatever, fuck you if you do.
Today i've been in the most depressing mood of my life. I woke up and went to work, and as soon as i was leaving i just wanted to drop and die. I don't know what exactly it's all about, i think it's more then just my ex... i just don't know what i want in life. I've NEVER, EVER been depressed like i have today. I cried for over an hour, i don't even know how that many tears came out of my body. I cried more today then i have in my entire life i swear, it was so fucking pathetic. My self confidence and self esteem are almost not there for some reason, my ambition to go forward with things i want to persue in life are diminishing, and i'm losing motivation to keep working out. It makes no sense because working out is what makes me happy, but in the last few days, it's been rare that i've been happy for more then 10 minutes. I feel like i need a way to escape reality, but i don't know how.
I'm running out of people to talk to about how i feel, about anything really, because if i bring up my ex my friends are like "Man get over her", and my parents are even getting mad at me for still thinking about her, but if i could snap my fucking fingers and make it happen i would have a month ago. I'm starting to get SO angry with myself, and so angry in general i just wanna smash the wall or something, and today i got so mad i wanted to smash myself.

For some stupid reason, i want to make my ex feel as much pain as i am right now, just so she can know what it's like to go through this fucking hell. But at the same time, i swear on my fucking life, if her new fagget boyfriend does anything to hurt her, i swear to god i'll end up in jail cause i will kill him, i will literally do it if he hurts her. But how can i think this way??? I keep thinking that he was around at the right time, her feeling so bad about herself, and him being there to say all the "right things", and i wasn't able to be that one and fix our mess up, because her way of getting over me was to stay away and ignore any feelings she has for me. So he could be using her to get a piece of ass, and that pisses me off more then anything!!!
If i ever see him, which i will, i'm gonna let him know right away that he better treat her like fucking gold!!! and if i hear otherwise, he's gonna be very sorry for it.

I don't like my life right now, because it's basically like this. I wake up, get some food, sit on the computer for a while, feeling shitty of course, then go to the gym, feel a bit better, then either go out with friends or work if i have to, and things are alright for a bit, but it's as soon as i end up alone that i start to lose it, and the majority of my day i'm alone. I hate the fact that i had so many god damn plans made, and now i've got NOTHING,,, Valentine's day is gonna suck, and it's depressing me thinking about it. I keep thinking i wanna get a girlfriend just so she can fill in the emptyness that Mrs J left me with, but i can't put a girl through that. I've gotta sit down and figure out what i want in a girl, and i don't know if i can try and find her or not, but waiting for her to come to me will take forever.

I think the only way i'm gonna start feeling better rather then just getting with another girl (and it's so fucking sad and pathetic, but i have like no sex drive whatsoever, I'm such a horny fucker, but i haven't been hardly at all in the last month, what the fuck is that all about???), i just gotta i dunno start hangin out with friends more and meeting more people or something. Just hanging out with different kinds of people is pretty cool, instead of the same old crowd all the time. And i gotta maybe get into more things other then just working out, maybe i'll get into boxing, i've wanted to for years, i dunno, haha, i sure have enough anger for it, but i dunno.

And sorry to the people i've been complaining to so much about this, and thanks to anyone who's been there for me and for any compliments about my physique, things like that are really helping me keep my spirits up and keep me motivated to continue working out.

And sorry to anyone who actually sat down and read this post haha (i'm feeling a LITTLE better, my buddy just called and i'm gonna go to the gym, so i'll write another post later on today on how it went). It actually took me about an hour to write this post, just because i've been sending weird messages and emails to friends and such, plus pacing around the house wanting to hurt something haha.
And Blake if you actually read this, thanks for all the advice and for actually reading all my messages i sent. It's good to talk to other people who are or have been through this kind of shit before.

I'm kind of excited to workout today, this is good, very good.

Till later on, and sorry again everyone. I just hope when i look back on this message in the future it'll help me realize how stupid i was for feeling this way, and how it'll make me mentally stronger.

Going to attack my back!!!

 

[bigbuffstaples]

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Alright i went to the gym today and worked Back. It was a great workout, i'm so glad i went. I was workin in on a machine with this wicked hot trainer that works there. It felt nice to pretend i was hittin on her hahaha, but i notice her look at me a lot, so i dunno.. maybe just i wanna believe it. ah well.

Anyway, i did back, started off with a set of wide grip chins, then i did seated rows (close grip), and lat pulldowns (wide), and i was workin out on each one with that trainer, it was nice haha. Then i did one set of bent over barbell rows (overhand), and i decided i wanted to do dumbbell rows, so i did 3 sets of 10, then i felt like i needed one more back exercise, so i did t-bar rows close grip. My back was killin!!! i was gonna do deadlifts, but these stupid bastards were hoggin the only bar to use it with. Ah well, next time i'll go extra heavy with em.


I'm feelin a bit better now, i don't know why, i just am. Tomorrow i'm gonna do cardio (that's right, cardio, for the first time in this program haha), and abs. Till then.

 

[bigbuffstaples]

Tuesday Feb.3/04

Diet:
-Eh, not too bad, fuck, i gotta get my vitamins in me though, i'll do that before i go out right now...

Training:
-WAS gonna do cardio and abs, but i felt sick today, so i didn't.

Notes:
-Felt INSANELY depressed all afternoon. I woke up and ate and started studying for my Personal Trainers exam, and after about 3 hours i started slippin and thinkin about the ex. Needless to say it ended up being a shitty afternoon. I ended up calling up my mom cause i needed someone to chat to, then i chatted with her for a while, and i'm doing much better right now. But i'm late to go out for a game of pool with some friends, so i'm out.

DEFINATELY workin arms tomorrow. Till then.

 

[bigbuffstaples]

Still Monday,, actually tuesday morning, 1:30 in the morning,,,, i got a girl's phone number and i'm gonna call her up tomorrow,,,, i was bitter all day, mad that i didn't get my cardio on, but fuck, soon i'll be getting the best cardio out there going on, and this girl is cute, fuckin wicked ass, and so damn sweet... can't wait till tomorrow, hopefully it will be a good day. till then.

 

[bigbuffstaples]

Wednesday Feb. 4/04

Diet:
-It was decent today, i felt sick this morning, but i forced myself to get food down. Still got half the day to go though.

Training:
-Arms and abs today. Wicked workout, i wasn't even gonna go cause i felt sick, but my buddy talked me into going, so i did and i blasted these arms. Was curlin the 50's for a few reps again, feelin strong although i feel sick too. did barbell curls, dumbbell curls, and preacher curls with dumbbell's for biceps, and for triceps i did skullcrushers, triceps pushdowns, and dips, then we did abs with throwing the medicine ball at each other, good fuckin workout today, and i'm in a wicked mood.

Notes:
-My training is going really well, and i'm pretty happy with my results thus far. Also i called up this girl i wanna start seeing today, but i had to leave a message for her to call me back. So i'm just waiting on that, and i don't know, i'm just in a fucking wicked mood today. I even have to get ready for work and for the last month i've considered quitting my job, but i'm glad i didn't, i'm just happy today, even though i still do feel like i have a bit of a cold.

Legs tomorrow.

 

[bigbuffstaples]

Thursday Feb. 5/04

Diet:
-Pretty good. I kept trying to just eat and eat and eat today, so far so good, but i'm gettin ready for work so that might slow things down a bit, but not too much, i'm gonna try and get out really early. Had my vitamins, protein (twice so far), creatine and 50mg of andro as usual. Chicken breast, whole wheat bagel, tuna, oatmeal and things like that.

Training:
-Worked legs today, and man what a workout. I did one set of leg extensions to failure for a pre-exhaust. Then i did squats (free weights this time, with the olympic bar instead of the smith). only did 185 but i was doing 8-9 reps. Then i did straight leg dead lifts with 135lbs (hey i gotta start somewhere), then i did leg extensions again with 180 pounds for around 8 reps (failure, and i'd hold at the top of each rep), then leg curls (125lbs), then standing calf raises, but this time i did slow reps and held at the top and at the stretch at the bottom, did 225lbs for 12 reps each set.

Notes:
-Well on a personal note, i'm feeling a LOT better, probably cause i have a date this weekend, and she's a great girl, i think i'm gonna have a good time and most likely it's gonna lead somewhere (maybe not gettin ass right away, but soon enough). So i'm pretty happy about that. As well as i've stated already i'm happy with my progress thus far in training. But i really gotta start getting serious about my diet and keeping notes of how much intake of everything i'm getting.

Shoulders tomorrow.

 

[bigbuffstaples]

*******************************
Oh yes, i must keep it in mind that i shouldn't be sitting around on the computer as much anymore... i never used to, and now i am all the time,, i should be getting out more and doing things, and only coming on here to learn instead of just randomly post,,, although from time to time i will still do so.
*******************************

 

[bigbuffstaples]

Friday Feb.6/04

Diet:
-Well fuck, hardly any food up in here, so i gotta go out and do a little shopping today. It's lunch time and i just kind of woke up, and i can see where this is going.

Training:
-probably not,,, no, definatly not training today,,, my legs are feeling it REALLY good though, so i know i worked them well yesterday. I ended up going out last night and staying out very late and drinking quite a bit (again). I'm kind of disappointed that i won't be working shoulders today,,, like i could go, but i feel that maybe today will be a good rest day, and tomorrow i'll have all that much more energy to really get a good shoulder workout. I'll do some abs and pushups today though.

Notes:
-Fuck,,, gotta lay low on the drinking, that's for sure. Had a wicked time, met a few new people, but i just gotta make sure i don't go out and get shitty tonight. I said i was going to and had it planned for a good week now, but i gotta do shoulders tomorrow,, maybe i'll have a few drinks tonight, but i'll make sure to limit myself.

Still waiting on this girl to call me up,,, it's annoying because tonight is really the only night this weekend i'll be free to do something with her, so we'll see. Whatever, no worries comin from me on it, i'll get out with her soon enough.

DEFINATLY shoulders tomorrow, definatly!!!!

 

[bigbuffstaples]

Sat. Feb.7/04

Diet:
-50mg andro, creatine, vitamin C and E, 2 protein shakes (so far), can of tuna, oat meal, chicken breast. It's only the early afternoon so i have a lot more eating to try and get in if i can, although i work soon.

Training:
-Worked shoulders and traps. Very good workout, felt really strong and pumped up today. Did military press with 115 pounds, got 8 reps, gonna try for 125 next time. Then did a few sets of dumbbell press with the 60's, then did front, side and rear lateral raises with one set of 12 reps (slow) with 20 pounds, then another set to failure with 30 pound dumbbells. Did upright rows with 80lbs (gettin better at it) for 10 reps, behind the back barbell shrugs with 135 pounds and dumbbell shrugs with the 85's. Was gonna do abs but it was busy as fuck, so i'll save it for tomorrow.

Notes:
-Feelin kind of tired lately still, but not as bad. Feels great working out, and i haven't really been that depressed at all lately. I feel as though if i keep staying away from the ex and not see her anywhere around (which i haven't so far), then i think in like a couple weeks i'll be pretty much over her. I HOPE. Still waitin on this fuckin phone call from another girl.

Chest tomorrow, maybe, depends on how sore my shoulders are.

 

[bigbuffstaples]

Sunday Feb.8/04

Diet:
-It was basically beer and some hard liquor, shitty junk food, terrible terrible terrible.

Training:
-I guess you could say legs.

Notes:
-Went snowboarding today for the first time. Spent a LOT of money, drank all afternoon, so fucking sore, so tired, feel shitty, AND i gotta work a 10 hour shift tomorrow starting at 7 in the morning. Had fun at the hill, can't wait to go boarding again, but fuck,,, i need sleep, maybe gym at night tomorrow, we'll see.

Till then.

 

[bigbuffstaples]

Monday Feb.9 04

Diet:
-Ehhh, half decent, had to work a 10 hour shift so there wasnt a lot i could do about that.

Training:
-Didnt get to train, because i worked 7-5 and i fell asleep when i got home. Tomorrow was gonna be my rest day, but im gonna work chest and back tomorrow instead so i will be all caught up.

Notes:
-Feeling insanely tired today and sort of sick. and THIS is pissing me off.... ÉÉÉééééÉÉ How the fuck did this end up on hereÉÉ like my question mark and comma keys keep showing this èèééÉÉÈÈ Fuckin computer.
Anyway, im gonna go to the gym for sure tomorrow, because i dont work at all. So there will be no excuses.

Till then.