How to handle the changes in our physical appearances...

[Smilee21]

I have a question, I am finding it hard to handle the physical changes my body is going through, I am very hard On myself, and do not see the progress of my transformation, I feel stronger but when I look at myself in the mirror, all I see are all my imperfections, will this negative feeling of body issues ever go away. I feel like no matter what I try to do, I will never be happy with myself.

 

[dfeaton]

I have a question, I am finding it hard to handle the physical changes my body is going through, I am very hard On myself, and do not see the progress of my transformation, I feel stronger but when I look at myself in the mirror, all I see are all my imperfections, will this negative feeling of body issues ever go away. I feel like no matter what I try to do, I will never be happy with myself.

It would help if you had a before picture then take a current pic....compare them to see progress.

 

[Smilee21]

I do pics monthly to see the transformation, it's the only way I can see a difference.

 

[hard2gain]

Over the years I have set and achieved many personal goals of mine. But no matter how strong I get or how good I look I'm never happy. It's a condition many "bodybuilders" or whatever you consider us gymrats go through. No matter how good we look, we only see the negatives. I personally just use it to drive and push myself for something better because I don't know any other option.

 

[MeatHead96]

Over the years I have set and achieved many personal goals of mine. But no matter how strong I get or how good I look I'm never happy. It's a condition many "bodybuilders" or whatever you consider us gymrats go through. No matter how good we look, we only see the negatives. I personally just use it to drive and push myself for something better because I don't know any other option.

This says it all for me. Before and after pictures really help me as well. I take pictures frequently and whenever I feel like I haven't made any progress I look back through those and I can see. I try positive affirmation with myself often but it is hard for me. I do really tend to focus on the negative and its never good enough for me. It often takes others to point out how much progress I've made for me to see it.

 

[hard2gain]

Yea I take very few pics. I just can't bring myself to be "that guy" that takes pics of himself in the mirror lol. My dad will demand getting a pic every once in a while though.

 

[Chi23]

^ i did for a lil felt kinda gay in front the mirror like this

but i feel that all these imperfections are what drive everyone here to get bigger, stronger, leaner, etc

 

[Smilee21]

Yes, I have been approached by many individuals recently, over the last Month especially asking me what am I Doing, that I am looking really good, some say I'm wasting away
I laugh and say um no, they never saw me from 1999-2005 when I weight trained and swam, biked every single day. They saw me after my son was born and after years of being depressed in a toxic relationship. Now that I am single and happy again, I am coming into my own skin again. It was a struggle at first, I forgot how much work it took to get me in the shape I was in back in my early 20's.

When I look through my progress pictures I have taken, I am surprised in my transformation. And the guys at the gym are also talking about it, they are surprised in how fast my body has transformed in such a short period. I have begun training harder, being even more stricter with my diet, bc of all those flaws I do see. I don't want to become obsessed with how I look, but I do want to have a nice defined body showing how much I do love and care about me and my health.

 

[Teutonic]

BDD

Body Dismorphic Disorder........to some degree most of us have it.

And to some degree it s good...a little vanity is a good thing lest we slip into lethargy, obesity or in my case depression and skin and bones.

With me it s the scale. I weigh in at the same time using the same scale. I shrivel without weight s and force feeding, and trt.

 

[Smilee21]

The hardest part is how all of the sudden I am getting approached, it's like I am the new kid in school that everyone wants to be friends with, are curious what her deal is. I am not an attention seeker, I am a very strong independent person who doesn't like bringing attention to herself, I have found that over the last few months since I have removed certain ppl, places I would visit, and things I would do, I am a lot happier now, and every one can see the positive change starting from within and showing on the outside, I am a very quiet individual but around certain ppl the real me is revealed. I don't want to many ppl knowing the real me, so I keep to myself, but lately as my body continues to change and my confidence levels increase, more ppl try to talk to me, it's distracting at times, especially the way they just look at me as I am lifting those heavy weights, MIRRORS all around, and I see them eyeing me as I walk on by. IT CREEPS ME OUT, Sometimes, but I try my best to zone it out. I don't use the gym as my meat market but as my Stress relief and to achieve the body I want.

I think I do suffer from BDD, my problem is that I was so use to how I looked when i was in my early 20's, phyiscally fit very athletic, and very healthy, that when I let myself go because I was depressed, I still saw myself as a size 6, my 5'8 stature, looked really good and never had problems getting a play date here and there.

Then when my body changed in a bad way, I didn't know how I really looked until I did see the pictures, and I was in shock. I said there is no way that is me. BUT it was... now that's all I see, that very thick chick staring back at me, no muscle tone, just layers upon layers of hideous fat covering my once well defined body.

In time, I hope my mind stops playing tricks on me, and lets me see the real me. I take pictures to reassure me that all my hard work is paying off. I am doing this for myself, no one else, bc I know what I am capable of doing and how happy I was when I was very health conscious.

I plan ahead meal wise, hardly ever have a cheat meal, choose working out when it comes to social event's, if I can get my workout in, then I will play after but not before. I am offically a gymrat once again, when i see the same faces every single day at both gyms I attend and know what body part they are going to be working on. I know I am now a regular.

In time will my mind catch up to how I really look when I see myself in the mirror, will I ever trully be satisfied with how i look, or will I always feel like there are rooms for improvement... and never be completely satisfied.

Its this hunger and drive that keeps me going, I hope this never leaves me.

 

[SigmundRoid]

The hardest part is how all of the sudden I am getting approached, it's like I am the new kid in school that everyone wants to be friends with

I go through this too. I get attention from different people, and they have different expectations and assumptions. I never had trouble getting attention before, but it's just different now.

It catches me off guard because in my mind, I'm still my old body type. No matter how many compliments I get, I don't believe them, I still see my old self.

Its this hunger and drive that keeps me going, I hope this never leaves me.

That's the right attitude!

 

[Smilee21]

thank you...

 

[Mrs P]

The hardest part is how all of the sudden I am getting approached, it's like I am the new kid in school that everyone wants to be friends with, are curious what her deal is. I am not an attention seeker, I am a very strong independent person who doesn't like bringing attention to herself, I have found that over the last few months since I have removed certain ppl, places I would visit, and things I would do, I am a lot happier now, and every one can see the positive change starting from within and showing on the outside, I am a very quiet individual but around certain ppl the real me is revealed. I don't want to many ppl knowing the real me, so I keep to myself, but lately as my body continues to change and my confidence levels increase, more ppl try to talk to me, it's distracting at times, especially the way they just look at me as I am lifting those heavy weights, MIRRORS all around, and I see them eyeing me as I walk on by. IT CREEPS ME OUT, Sometimes, but I try my best to zone it out. I don't use the gym as my meat market but as my Stress relief and to achieve the body I want.

I think I do suffer from BDD, my problem is that I was so use to how I looked when i was in my early 20's, phyiscally fit very athletic, and very healthy, that when I let myself go because I was depressed, I still saw myself as a size 6, my 5'8 stature, looked really good and never had problems getting a play date here and there.

Then when my body changed in a bad way, I didn't know how I really looked until I did see the pictures, and I was in shock. I said there is no way that is me. BUT it was... now that's all I see, that very thick chick staring back at me, no muscle tone, just layers upon layers of hideous fat covering my once well defined body.

In time, I hope my mind stops playing tricks on me, and lets me see the real me. I take pictures to reassure me that all my hard work is paying off. I am doing this for myself, no one else, bc I know what I am capable of doing and how happy I was when I was very health conscious.

I plan ahead meal wise, hardly ever have a cheat meal, choose working out when it comes to social event's, if I can get my workout in, then I will play after but not before. I am offically a gymrat once again, when i see the same faces every single day at both gyms I attend and know what body part they are going to be working on. I know I am now a regular.

In time will my mind catch up to how I really look when I see myself in the mirror, will I ever trully be satisfied with how i look, or will I always feel like there are rooms for improvement... and never be completely satisfied.

Its this hunger and drive that keeps me going, I hope this never leaves me.

Smilee,

Have u seen the comercial with Ellen DeGeneres, where she says "Outer beauty is probably more important than inner beauty". ?

I think there's something seriously wrong with that statement, everytime u turn on the tv there's ads saying, Do this for a "better" you, take this new weight loss pill & "start" living your life, etc, etc.

I'm not saying taking care of your self & being driven, dedicated is wrong, I think it's great to want to look your best, it gives you confidence & makes you feel better & happier & this translates to all aspects of your life...
But u cannot let yourself be defined by your physical apperance, we will all age & our bodies will change, and beauty fades..
You need to be able to value yourself for other qualities...IMO, specially as a women..

I do feel there's a fine line between being commited to how u look & being obessesed with physical apperance.
I think when one become "obssesed" with physical apperance this leads to an unheathy way of thinking & living.

I'm very commited to my training & I am very dedicated to living a healthy lifestyle, but I think the key is balance, I am a mom & a wife & if my workouts have to be prostponed or canceled because something else came up, I'm ok with that... I rather take the kids to the park & play with them & prostpone my workout than sacrisfice the time I can spend with them because I "have" to do my workout.


I'm happy your feeling better about yourself, I think u should keep track of your progress on paper so u could see for yourself.

Hope u achieve the results yoru looking for

I think society

 

[darkside06]

Patients. Rome wasn't built in a day. The before and after pictures are great ways to track your day to day progress.

 

[juced_porkchop]

I have a question, I am finding it hard to handle the physical changes my body is going through, I am very hard On myself, and do not see the progress of my transformation, I feel stronger but when I look at myself in the mirror, all I see are all my imperfections, will this negative feeling of body issues ever go away. I feel like no matter what I try to do, I will never be happy with myself.

It will take years even with steroids to have a decent amount of muscle built.
havign said that.
I think you should consider cognitive tharapy it may help you.

you might never feel better if you dont address the fact its not your body its your mind that has the issue to work on. sorry to say.

 

[Smilee21]

What I see in the mirror and what I see in Pictures are 2 different things. I never was one who obsessed about my looks, I liked being active and took care of myself really well. Then after hitting some rough patches in my life, I let myself go and didn't realize what I saw in the mirror was not the same person I would see in the pictures. I am a very beautiful person from the inside/out. I know this, but there is still that disconnect. As my body continues to transform, I do not see the changes on the outside, unless Pictures and measurements are taken. Which are done once a month, I do not obsess over what the scale says, I just continue to try to eat healthy, exercise daily, and surround myself with my beautiful friends and family. Therapy helps, I use different forms of therapy to get me through my rough patches in my life. My main focus is getting back into the things I enjoy doing, challenging myself, creating those goals I would like to meet each month, and try to motivate my friends and family to live a more active lifestyle.

this is just the beginning of my journey and yes, I am very hard on myself, but I will always be that way.

 

[Mt-momma]

I know I'm coming in late here, but I think our own perception of ourselves is more negative than others. We all have something we want to improve and something about our bodies that we feel need more work. I had the strangest eye opener the other day though.....My daughter goes to preschool and one of her preschool bud's mom is naturally thin and very fit. She's had 3 kids and is in fantastic shape. One of those ladies that can walk into any store, pick out anything on the rack and look like a knockout. Anyway, the other day she was talking to me about her running and said to me "I wish I had really strong legs like you." I was in total shock. I've always had thicker legs and a butt. I told myself a long time ago that if I couldn't be svelt, I'd at least be strong. Well, I am. Strong as hell, but the last thing I expected was this woman who I think has an amazing perfect body admit she wished her body was different. Make sense? We all see the imperfections in ourselves. It's easy to be critical of ourselves. I find that when I feel like my legs are big, I have to remind myself that I'm strong also. I'm happy being strong and my focus shifts to a more positive angle.

 

[Smilee21]

I know I'm coming in late here, but I think our own perception of ourselves is more negative than others. We all have something we want to improve and something about our bodies that we feel need more work. I had the strangest eye opener the other day though.....My daughter goes to preschool and one of her preschool bud's mom is naturally thin and very fit. She's had 3 kids and is in fantastic shape. One of those ladies that can walk into any store, pick out anything on the rack and look like a knockout. Anyway, the other day she was talking to me about her running and said to me "I wish I had really strong legs like you." I was in total shock. I've always had thicker legs and a butt. I told myself a long time ago that if I couldn't be svelt, I'd at least be strong. Well, I am. Strong as hell, but the last thing I expected was this woman who I think has an amazing perfect body admit she wished her body was different. Make sense? We all see the imperfections in ourselves. It's easy to be critical of ourselves. I find that when I feel like my legs are big, I have to remind myself that I'm strong also. I'm happy being strong and my focus shifts to a more positive angle.

Beautifully said and I agree.

 

[dialtone]

I think you should consider cognitive tharapy it may help you.

I'm going to advice against cognitive therapy. You are just paying a lot for someone to listen to you talk...what you get here for free.

I know I'm coming in late here, but I think our own perception of ourselves is more negative than others. We all have something we want to improve and something about our bodies that we feel need more work. I had the strangest eye opener the other day though.....My daughter goes to preschool and one of her preschool bud's mom is naturally thin and very fit. She's had 3 kids and is in fantastic shape. One of those ladies that can walk into any store, pick out anything on the rack and look like a knockout. Anyway, the other day she was talking to me about her running and said to me "I wish I had really strong legs like you." I was in total shock. I've always had thicker legs and a butt. I told myself a long time ago that if I couldn't be svelt, I'd at least be strong. Well, I am. Strong as hell, but the last thing I expected was this woman who I think has an amazing perfect body admit she wished her body was different. Make sense? We all see the imperfections in ourselves. It's easy to be critical of ourselves. I find that when I feel like my legs are big, I have to remind myself that I'm strong also. I'm happy being strong and my focus shifts to a more positive angle.

I think you sound hot!! I LOVE women with some meat on their bones. To be honest, I don't even give a second glance to skinny girls. These kinds of feelings are normal...especially for women and the way society portrays what "sexy" women should look like. Even the most attractive people aren't attractive to everyone. I guarantee there is a large population of men (and women) that would find you very attractive. For the people that don't, don't waste your time on them.

I consider myself a fairly attractive guy and I've dated a lot of women. Some make me feel very attractive, others make me feel like I'm never good enough. I find security in the fact that I am attractive to many women and the women that don't see me that way, they are only going to bring me down so I don't waste my time. Keep your head up, I'm sure you are beautiful.

 

[Smilee21]

This is my therapy; it's the best form ever IMO