The Rules for Lower Testosterone
Number One: Eat a really low-fat diet. Studies show that limiting fat to 10 percent or less of total calories will take your testosterone levels right to the basement. You'll especially want to avoid monounsaturated fats, omega-3's and all those other pesky fats that keep your heart healthy and reduce inflammation. Who needs 'em?
Number Two: Don't eat protein. A study of 1,522 men ages 40-70 following low-protein diets had decreased testosterone and lower sex drives. Research also shows that athletes have higher testosterone levels when eating meat-based protein, so make sure to stay away from that. Remember, Tibetan monks live quite nicely on exclusively vegan diets. Of course, they also don't reproduce, but who cares?
Number Three: Don't lift weights. Who needs 'em? They only make you muscle-bound. Plus, they increase T-levels. According to William Kraemer, a well-known kinesiology researcher at the University of Connecticut's Human Performance Laboratory, weight lifting sets the stage for testosterone to act as a muscle builder. Who are the worst offenders? Big compound exercises that train several large muscle groups at once (squats, dead lifts). If you must lift weights, stick to the little "beauty bells", keep the weight to less than six pounds, and try to listen to the Carpenters Greatest Hits while pumping out sets of 20.
Number four: Try not to sleep too much. Testosterone, not to mention growth hormone, is produced during deep, restful sleep known as REM sleep. If you can just manage to wake up every few hours, or make sure you toss and turn a lot, or better yet, just sleep a couple hours a night, you'll be sure not to be raising either hormone.
Number Five: Drink up! Alcohol can definitely inhibit production of testosterone, not to mention what it can do to performance. Think: "I don't know, honey, this has never happened before. Must be the booze". 'Nuff said?
I hear a shot of Deca does wonders in this department.
J/K
