This shit has got to stop...
Okay, I am stone cold rookie. I've been looking around on the net for info, and I think my brain is going to blow a gasket. I need someone to break it down real simple like

I'll try and give you as much information as possible, just ask me for more if you need it.
I'm age 37, 6'2, 95kg, been training on and off (mostly off recently). Bit of a sports has-been. In the last few months I have been become very discouraged with my lack of progress. I have good leg strength (cycling background) and push 320KG on the leg-press (10,15,10), but my upper-body strength is weak as piss!!! About the only thing I have been able to achieve at the gym, is getting rid of some woeful man-boobs. Other than that, training seems to not be making a dent. I want to keep up my cardio as well.
I have rotator-cuff (which means I can't even spike the ball in my beach volleyball comp). I have "clicky joints" due to poor muscular support (lanky limbs). I definitely think I have some kind of hormonal problem. Had major stress and depression (sleeplessness) in the recent 3 - 6 years (glandular fever before that) and have been told I have "burn out" (based on results from adrenal and thyroid tests (first stage of exhaustion in both)). I'm pretty sure my petuitary gland is completely dead. I don't wanna think about what's going on with the gonads. I'm not even gonna tell you the whole story because it's too embarrassing (and I am not easily embarrassed). Trust me, it's very very very bad!
My energy levels suck arse and I only have enough stamina to work half of my body during a given session no matter what sports drink I take. This is bullshit. I have been working to hard for this to happen.
This shit has GOT to change - and I mean now!
I work from home (as a computer programmer) and my hours are flexible. I have my gym membership at an excellent gym. I am ready to go hard and I would like to do 2 sessions 5 days a week if neccessary.
I'm hoping some chemistry can sort the energy issues as well as strength. Honestly, I would be happy just to be able to spike the ball again. But I don't want to keep looking weak as piss in the upper-body department. The pain and inflamation stops me from pushing as hard as my brain wants to. I simply cannot do shoulder press.
I even emailed a pharmacist who specialises in hormones (he's the guy who ordered the original tests) and asked him about steroids vs tribulous. His exact words (because he can't endorse steroids):
"tribulus isn't strong enough.
be careful with steroids"
I'm gonna take that to mean an amber light. Not green, but definitely not red!
Please somebody, make it real simple for me so I can start tomorrow without having to get a degree in biochemistry. Although I've never used a syringe on myself before, I am happy to inject. I want to look after my liver.
In terms of finding the juice, I live in australia. Dunno if that makes a difference. Please email me if you have any suggestions on sourcing the stuff.
cheers.
edit: I don't mind boning up on knowledge over a period of time. I was considering getting "chemical wizardry" by George Sellwyn. Any feedback would be appreciated. I'm not daft (IQ 140), but I'm a slow reader and my mind wonders. I'm also under a lot of work preassure, if I don't meet deadlines, I won't be able to afford this shit.